Throughout our lives, we experience emotions that disturb or distress us. Often, our first reaction is to push our feelings away. We may say, “I don’t want to think about that right now, I’ll think about it later” and we bury our emotions, deny the validity of our feelings, or distract ourselves with other concerns.
But the diverse emotions we experience may be neither good nor bad-they may be simply a part being human.
Choosing not to experience pain, anger, or other intense feelings could cause those feelings to become buried deep . There, they may linger unresolved and unable to emerge, even as they affect the way we experience the world.
Allowing ourself to experience all of our emotions rather than push the more painful ones away can help us come to terms with our feelings so we can experience them and then move on.
It is possible to bring forth the old feelings we have pushed aside and experience them in a safe and enriching way.
It may sound silly to set aside time to feel our old wounds that we haven’t dealt with, but this can be a very beneficial healing experience.
Find a safel way and time to do this. Make sure that you feel secure and comfortable in your surroundings.
Bring to mind the circumstances that originally triggered the emotions you’ve been pushing away.
We may need to revisit these circumstances by trying to relive your past. Once we triggered our long-denied emotions, we need to let ourself feel our feelings, and try not to judge our reactions.
Cry or sound our emotions if you need to, and don’t block the flow of our feelings. Allow thoughts that are connected to our emotions to surface.
Very few know that my move back here has brought something to the front of my mind that I never knew——flashbacks of a young child in the front room of the large house next door and sexual activities taking place by her cousins older uncles as they babysat . Very vivid they are .
I have seen a psychiatrist and there are many issues of anger to deal with and work through.
I have so much anger that has been simmering and is boiling ready to erupt like the volcano at any minute….
Releasing the feelings I have pushed deep inside of me, will allow me to begin to feel some healing.
Dealing with our feelings directly, and allowing them to move through us rather than staying stopped up in our body as emotional blocks that can sometimes turn into disease is healthy.
When we push them away, they become buried but for how long—-those are questions people do not know and what about children who never tell?. That is one of the many details I remember you are not to tell anyone because good little girls don’t do this and they will not believe you. 42 years ago I was a innocent little girl today I am one pissed off angry lady.
However I have many things to be thankful for in my life and Life Is Simply Good. I will deal with this….One day at a time.
August 18th, 2006 at 10:05 am
I am very proud of you!
This post is full of wonderful and sound advice.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I want to wrap my arms around you and give you a great big hug.:love:
Love ya!:heart::heart:
August 18th, 2006 at 10:21 am
Sometimes those memories are best left in the past. But its up to you to walk that path or not. The question I answered was ‘ will it make a differnce to me now?’ The answer is no. I moved on. I have spent a long time catching up on your posts. You have moved my thoughts and feeling from pillar to post. Thanks.
August 18th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
Each chooses to face or not aspects of their past that stay with them beneath the surface; when done, the way forward is open; when not, there’ll always be an anchor drag on the journey.
Good for you to take it on.
August 18th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
I agree with you Vickie, getting our feelings out and dealt with is healthier for us in the long run. Keeping them hidden away and not dealing with them just makes them fester inside, and all kinds of emotional problems usually ensue… good luck hon. (((hugs)))
August 18th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
I think keeping things that bother us bottled up inside is just allowing something to fester and get worse. I am usually better of to face them and get them behind me. But, there are some things that sure seem to hang on for a long time.
August 18th, 2006 at 3:40 pm
Well, letting this anger out at least has the advantage that you won’t let it be directed at the wrong things or people.
August 18th, 2006 at 4:42 pm
There’s lots to work through - it sounds like you’re addressing those issues head on. And that’s always good.
August 18th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
Of course issues must be faced…because every flower has to push through a lot of dirt before she shows her blooms.
So it is with our lives…we must see for what it was and then move forward knowing whatever it is, it is now a “was” and we have the future ahead.:heart:
August 18th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Vickie,
Sometimes when we are going thru bad times, and stress, or even trauma in our lives, we push aside our feeling, and emotions. We are too numb, or tired or weak to cope. Our ability to deal with issues comes when we are ready to face them. Each person deals with them differently, and at differnt times. Hurray for those of us who come to terms with our issues, bless those who aren’t there yet….it will happen when they are ready.
Cheers,
August 18th, 2006 at 8:57 pm
soemtimes, the hardest part of anything is letting go. having had more than my share of hardship, i have learned that the only way to get on in this life, is to let go of the bad stuff. i am a work in progress, and am happy with how far i have come. got a ways to go, but its all good. take care and have a good weekend. poet
August 18th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
I am proud of you, facing these memories is brave, indeed. You can do it though, I’ll be with you every step of the way. I often have wondered why I had to suffer sexual abuse as a child and after I got beyond the “why me’s” and self-pity, I realized something. If my experiences and survival, learning to deal with them and get over them could help ONE person, it will be worth it.
Refill the space that the anger is filling with the love, laughter, and beauty that is YOU. He couldn’t break your spirit then and he sure as hell won’t break it now.
Sending HUGE HUGS your way as well as my love and support.
August 19th, 2006 at 2:51 am
Vickie,
I am so sorry that you or any innocent, had to endure such atrocities. I havent been there, so I hesitate to give you platitudes. But I do know that you are a very special lady. Even though you are dealing with the after affects of your past, you still manage to be a bright and loving person. I am greatful for the woman that you are.
Hugs and Love.
August 19th, 2006 at 9:50 am
How brave your are to confront these issues from your past. I wish you strength to continue your journey of healing. Anger is just one step along the way.
August 19th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Congratulations on trying to deal with this issue. I am sure that it isn’t easy. Take one day at a time and take your own advise. Happy weekend.
August 19th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
Wonderful advice. I too, had buried anger deep within me.
You are a spectacular, brave lady, and know my prayers are with you as you face this.
August 20th, 2006 at 8:54 am
Sometimes you think you’ve dealt with it, but it somehow still manages to rear its ugly head. And sometimes you know that the only way to really deal with it is to put it out there for everyone to see, but knowing how that will affect others, those you love, makes you stuff it back down.
If only it were as easy as what you suggested…
August 20th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
We know that “managing it” is not the same as “dealing with it”. Vickie, I know that you have the wisdom, the strength, and the courage to work through all this.
I wish you the best in your journey.
August 21st, 2006 at 11:45 am
I am glad you turned out to be the kind of strong woman who can face this and deal with it. All the best to you!