What do I want in my life? | Filed under General
Most of you know by now what happened to Monica over the weekend that and another friend’s sudden loss of her mother reminded me once again just how fragile life is.
I know this more than many but this served to remind me that I once again should evaluate a few things and I might share a few of my findings with you here over the next days or I might not you know me.
How many of us truly know what we seek in our lives? Do we confuse our desires and wants with our needs?
Are we really seeking that new home, job, car, boat, vacation or motorcycle like my brother in-law or Walker’s Sister -In-Law , hmmmmm wonder if they are riding together? Or are we seeking the “peace that passeth all understanding”? just that contentment ……just that happiness.
We are driven by our needs, wants and desires. The greater these are, the more we are driven. A driven person is not a person who is at peace. That person’s needs, wants and desires keep that individual in a state of constant turmoil.
Society teaches us we should constantly strive for all the finer things in life. The paradox is that society dictates what those finer things should be. The labels society provides cannot fit every individual, for we are all different. No two of us have the same wants and desires.
My wants and desires may be to live simply and peacefully. Inasmuch as my needs for food, clothing and shelter are met, I am at peace. There is no concern about having the most toys, or the biggest home, or the most money, or the fanciest automobile. I find that to be more true these days than in the days I was employed and the peer pressure was there and I was not the person I am today.
Society says that unless we have these things or at least strive to achieve them, we are failures. This can only hold true when we allow society to dictate to us.
There are many people who, in the eyes of society at large, are abysmal failures. However, in the opinion of those closest to them, they may be considered the greatest of successes.
Consider those who live simply and within their means. They are totally free of debt and the worries that come with being in debt. Another thought to bear in mind is the fact that inasmuch as you owe any other person or institution, you are a slave to that person or institution.
Ponder this thought! Do not lightly pass it by.
So long as you owe another person or institution, you are a slave to that person or institution.
Our basic needs for food, shelter and clothing are relatively easy to satisfy. It is when we desire the largest house which will never be a home for a four-person family that we place ourselves in stressful situations.
How much is enough? That depends on what you want out of life. Too many people tell us we are foolish to settle for anything less than the latest model automobile, a beautiful and well landscaped home, a great amount of money in the bank and on and on. Are we really foolish to not want these things?
Would we not be better off to have sufficient for all our needs that we don’t have to worry about them? We can spend the time we would have wasted trying to accumulate the most toys on much better things. Some of these would be more quality time with our families, the time to really enjoy all the beauty surrounding us, and more time for spiritual development.
An individual who is stressed out cannot enjoy the beauty abounding on this earth. This is easily explained. When you are truly ill and hurting all over, your pains and illness dominate your thoughts. When you are in excellent health and high spirits, everything about you takes on a new nature and is viewed from a different perspective.
The choice is simple, but not necessarily easy. Live simple and free of stress within your means according to your own dictates, or endure the striving and stress of keeping up with the dictates of society.
Take it from one who still strives to be able to enjoy her peace because something happened to her when she thought she was on top of the world. You never know when it might be you that something can happen to so learn to live and enjoy life within your means and not outside it.
There is no amount of money than can buy you good health or love. I am surrounded by love from my family and I realize how much these days. This might not have always been the case but that is no longer the case I can say, I have the knowledge. I am surrounded my love from friends and I realize that for which I am thankful of.
I do not have the best of health but I do realize the importance of doing what I can to improve my health so I will be around with my family and friends longer.
I want to life my live and enjoy it simply at peace. What about you?
August 14th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
I stay stressed just trying to live and not lose what little I have. To heck with the bigger things when I can barely hang on to the measley pittance I have now. Once I can breathe easier…ie: not worried over losing my house… and away from the darker influences on my life, then I can be at peace with my surroundings.
August 14th, 2006 at 11:23 pm
We have to find our own balance for how many “toys” we want in life and how much time we have to enjoy them. Because of Annie’s rheumatoid arthritis we felt she would not physically be able to travel very long, so we opted for an early retirement for me. We had enough money to get along although not enough for the expensive vacations, etc. that some have to have.
We were able to take two wonderful Snowbird trips plus two summer trips with the RV. Then last July she went into the hospital for what was to be not too serious a proceedure. She caught pneumonia and died. That sure was not in our plans, but I am so glad that I took that early retirement so that I was able to spend the last 19 months of her life totally with her. People need to stop chasing the almighty buck and learn to enjoy whatever time they have left.
Especially since Annie’s death I have learned how valuable friends and family are. Cultivate them, enjoy them, spend as much time as possible with them. As we get older, time becomes much more valuable than money and the things it can buy.
August 15th, 2006 at 1:54 am
A great post! I’m content with my life and think the love from my family and friends is worth more than all the fancy gadgets and toys.
Take care and hope you have a great week.
August 15th, 2006 at 3:00 am
Well put Vicky,
Finding joy in what we have and realizing the value of the love we share with our family and friends is paramount.
August 15th, 2006 at 5:53 am
Good points. Personally, I’m a slave and have been for years. But eh: it’s only me (since the pet rock and his earette of corn are living at a bar on a beach in Japan for the rest of the year), and I agree that life is what we make it. Toys I can do without (save for the toy what allows me to do this hyar); my simple pleasures are my non-work leisure time (don’t let my boss think I have work leisure time LOL), my writing, and some of the correspondence that writing generates (or degenerates, depending on how you read it).
Worries there are; worries are a part of life, and learning to cope with ‘em comes with life-accumulated wisdom.
Such is my pre-coffee babbling at 3:53am MST
August 15th, 2006 at 7:52 am
Speaking from very recent experience? As much as I love my mustang, Trevor, and as much as I want to be a well-known writer? All I was thinking about Thursday night was how much I loved my children and my family and how GLAD I WAS that they KNEW that.
That’s the riches of a truly successful life. If I had gone Thursday night (and I’m too mean to do that), I would have been ready…and HAPPY because I hsve it all.
August 15th, 2006 at 7:53 am
I can spell…I really can.
HAVE it all.
August 15th, 2006 at 8:36 am
The test I have tried to teach my children:
“Look at what you are planning to purchase.
Ask yourself, ‘Do I need it, or do I WANT it?’
Then, if you need it - ask God if you are correct.”
August 15th, 2006 at 9:19 am
You always seem to know what I need to hear, thank you for that. It seems as if I do fine keeping my stresses under control for a while, then BOOM, I start letting situations get to me. I need to always remember what stress does to me - and those around me. I don’t like being a stress-monster, I like peace, laughter, love, friendship. Everyone needs to vent once in a while but I need to let go of what I cannot control.
Being in debt isn’t worth the stress it causes, it’s been a hard lesson to learn but am driven to live within my means and help those who need it.
Have a wonderful day, love ya, GF!
August 15th, 2006 at 9:44 am
I have toys.
Man do I have toys but I don;t seek them unl;ess i need them and they are expendable as I have proven in the past by selling what I dont use to get what I need.
In the end yuou can’t take your toys with you unless you are a Pharoh.
The best toy you can have is your health and that sll you need. Without that who cares about the remote
August 15th, 2006 at 11:43 am
I struggle with this. I want to be happy, but how to get there?? Not sure. Thanks for a thought-provoking post.
August 15th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
All of that is very true. It’s tough not to want nice things, though I never try to be jealous of others that have what I do not. That inner peace is something I’ve been searching for a long time. I get a little closer every day.
August 15th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
I read about Monica elsewhere, I am so glad she is doing better, what a scary thing to happen to her. I heart Monica too, and she has my prayers as always.
I wish I would have known sooner.
August 15th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
Very well said, as usual. Growing up, I had everythinfg I wanted in the material sense, but never quite happy, always wanted more. I missed the fact of what I NEEDED to be truly fulfilled was always under my nose; my family’s love, and friendship. And nOw, I’d give everything up justtofeel my daddy hug me goodnight,or see the sweet smile of my grandmother.
August 15th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
this is an excellent post my friend and it is so true. the fewer things you have the better. if you want a lot then it may drive you in to an early grave. with all these things there comes more responsibilities and with that comes more worries. who needs more worries. i would much rather have less. if you have an illness especially some thing big then you look at life with different glasses. you get to see things the way they should be. you learn quickly what is important and you embrace that .
have a greatday and thanks for sharing the great post today.
August 15th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
This was a very thought provoking and inspirational post.
Here’s to your continued good health: [jjjjj]D
August 16th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
If you give up all the “striving for”, then you might find that there is nothing left or … start appreciating the little things.
August 16th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
All my worldly goods are contained in a couple of rooms in my parents’ house, but I have no debts, and prefer this way of life. I would love to live alone with my boys, but that’s not going to happen. My health is far from good, but my family are all well. We love one another, and get on well most of the time (teenage boys notwithstanding)! I much prefer this pared down way of life, knowing exactly what is important in my life. Great post Vickie
August 16th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
This past year, so many Blog Buddies of mine have suffered losses. With my own losses, I am grateful that I can understand the pain of so many. I just stopped in to say hello. But I can see that I should scroll down and learn more about this situation. Many, many good messages about balance and getting focused on what matters. I have a post office station close by that is dedicated to a Carrier who died of Cancer in 1985. He was 50 and ran from Carlyle, Illinois to San Francisco –2000 miles in 97 days to raise money for Cancer. In one of his final quotes he says. “I am a very happy man”.
August 16th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Great post!
Very true..
I feel the same way about things.
You are a very special friend to me.
Huge Hugs
Love ya!
August 16th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
I think your life will be deemed successful if you can look back at it at the end and say that it was a great ride and that it wasn’t a wasted life. This means different things to different people, but that is not the real question. Ultimately, it is doing the things that are meaningful to you all along the way, regardless of other’s priorities and preferences. That is your mission, to be true to yourself.
August 16th, 2006 at 11:03 pm
Well said, Vickie. When I was younger, I was a slave to my credit card. It started with me buying a dinette set for my first apartment, and charging it. It turned out not to be the neccessity I thought it was, but I was still paying it off a year later. And I kept adding to that credit card and getting other credit cards to buy things that I wanted, but didn’t necessarily need. As you said, I was a slave to them. The day I finally paid them all off was one of the best days in my life. I hadn’t even realized how much of a burden I felt from them until they were gone. And I haven’t looked back since.
It’s one of the things I love about being older…knowing what is truly important in this life. Glad you realize it too