Saturday’s Smiles | Filed under Saturday’s Smiles
Sriday has come again, bringing the end of another week and the beginning of another weekend. May you enjoy both the end and the start! Thank you to the many who have welcomed and supported my friend Jolie, she does have talent.
The Perfect Day - Her
8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend’s/husband’s ex and notice she’s gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms
The Perfect Day - Him
6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O’Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew
(topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue
Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six
Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Shit, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton’s resignation. Hillary
and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves
graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare),
Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963
(magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab
and leave.
Midnight Blowjob
Sleep
The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman’s Life
The Doctor - who tells her to “take off all her clothes.”
The Dentist - who tells her to “open wide.”
The Milkman - who asks her “do you want it in the front or the back?”
The Hairdresser - who asks her “do you want it teased or blown?”
The Interior Designer - who tells her “once it’s inside, you’ll LOVE it!”
The Banker - who insists to her “if you take it out too soon, you’ll lose
interest!”
The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots
twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her “Keep quiet and
lie still!”
Enjoy your day, smile, make some else smile and return here soon where “Life Is Simply Good.”
July 8th, 2006 at 2:44 pm
The perfect day for a man cracked me up as well as the men in a woman’s life. The last the the words “open wide” were said to me was the oral surgeon. Yup. That’s my luck.
July 8th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Those are all excellent for the man.
But that “pillow talk” for the woman at 11:30 - how long is that going to be?
July 8th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Thanks for the Saturday smiles. I enjoyed them and needed to laugh !!
FYI: I have changed my domain to: http://www.lovehopeandcourage.com. Please change your links. Thanks Vickie !!
*HUGS*
July 8th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Hi Vicki. You are so sweet. Thanks for all those post.I hope you are having a great weekend! Take care and keep on smiling..
July 8th, 2006 at 4:38 pm
Hmmmm thats to much blowjob for me and I don’t golf, so that leaves me with FISHING WOOOHOOOO!!!!!
Have a nice weekend
July 8th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
Thank you sweet Vickie! Your warmth and openess makes my creativity flow even more!
jolie
July 8th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
I love the perfect day for him although I could do with less golf. That and I never was any good at fishing, DARN!
July 8th, 2006 at 7:38 pm
sounds just about right on.how many men did you interview ?
July 8th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Hope you’re having a good weekend, Ms. Vickie. I’m gonna be gone a few days, will see you next Weds. **HUGS**
July 9th, 2006 at 12:53 am
Yes, I feel the same way… the woman is pretty accurate.. .now for the man… lol… it is so stereotypical it is hilarious!!! But the man would have to be pretty young for that kind of stamina don’t you think? lol and the rest… the most important men in a woman’s life? lol… that was funny too:rotfl:
July 9th, 2006 at 4:08 am
HELLO vickie ~~ Thank you so much for your comments, I am lad you enjoy some of my posts. Yes, I am so glad my
daughter is home and hope she is totally well very soon.
Take care, Merle.
July 9th, 2006 at 8:36 am
ROTF, this was great!!
Primal Hunter, is there really such a thing?:rotfl:
July 9th, 2006 at 9:12 am
Hi Vickie, very funny stuff there, I seem to be following my sister around everywhere I go tonight.
July 13th, 2006 at 5:58 am
I am a man. Loved this, though would settle for much less LOL.