Monday’s Moments —a few smiles | Filed under Monday’s Moments
Today is pretty busy but I have a smile on my face and my heart is full of happiness and I thought I would start Monday’s Moments off with some laughter here—-especially after Paul over at Paul of York thinks I might be an instigator. Me an instigator never, but Paul you just wait ….. Now for a little about Laws and Taxes all in an attempt to bring a smile to your face…..here you go.
* Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to pee.
* Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
* Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of the act.
* Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
* Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss a flat tire made you late for work, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
* Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
* Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
* Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
* Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
* Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
* Theater Rule:
At any event, people with seats furthest from the aisle, arrive last.
* Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that lasts until the coffee is cold.
* Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
* Law of Location:
Wherever you go, There you are!
* Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
* Brown’s Law:
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
* Oliver’s Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* Wilson’s Law:
As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it.
We could balance the Federal Budget if we taxed sex. Everyone would pay their share. Young people would pay more taxes and your tax liability would decrease as you got older.
The tax would also promote family values. How would you like to come home to your wife and have her ask, “Honey, why is your tax bill larger than mine?” Or be a teenager and come home to your dad with your tax bill in his hand.
We wouldn’t have to pay people to work for the IRS, they would be paying to work there just so they could review peoples returns. Locker room conversations would change… “Get a load of this tax bill!”
The forms would change a little also. We would now have a 1040Quickee. And it would give a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.”
Hope you have a great day and start your week the right way be nice to someone, even if it only a smile you give them it could be just what they need.
June 19th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Many of those sayings are very true, espcially the lane changing thing.
I’d love a tax on sex. I wouldn’t be paying very much, what being an old guy married forever.
June 19th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
Phoenix’s Law of Auto Mechanics:
If it is broke or making funny noises, it will work fine when the mechanic is in the car.:wall:
Phoenix’s Law of Bug Behavior:
If you find a bug crawling and call a man to kill it, it will be gone by the time he gets there.
June 19th, 2006 at 1:32 pm
As an RVer I like that law of location. I probably have made wrong number phone calls that resulted in a busy signal but I just didn’t know I had gotten a wrong number. The sex tax sounds good. What would you do about people who are alone - tax them double, or only half tax?
June 19th, 2006 at 1:36 pm
Those are great, thanks for the laughs.
* Law of Location:
Wherever you go, There you are! (AND THEY ALWAYS FOLLOW has been added LOL)
The shoe law! What a hoot!:bananadance:
Have a great day, love ya, GW, oh I mean GF. *snicker*
June 19th, 2006 at 2:20 pm
Law of the workshop: Or you will drop the &%$# thing on your foot! Very funny!
June 19th, 2006 at 2:22 pm
These are the finest truisms ever assembled in one post. My life follows all those laws, except Oliver’s (Why Oliver?). I sat here enjoying each one and relating. They’re terrific and you’re terrific!
Does that get me out of trouble? I can do more Kowtowing.
I’ll hesitantly say thanks for the link; just I’m not sure that I should.
June 19th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
Thanks for the giggle! Happy late anniversary!
June 19th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
Very good, Ms. Vickie. I’ll that every time I clean the windows, it immediately starts raining!
June 19th, 2006 at 6:51 pm
I messed up, but anyway, you get the picture! And, I might add, it doesn’t rain much lately.
June 19th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Instigator, is that anything like shit desturber.
If it is, SHE IS SHE IS!!!!!!
I can suplly proff with links as evidence
I could agree with ALL of those because most have happened to me.
Do you know how hard it it to get grease off after you have gone for a pee. Pfffffffft
“Wherever you go, There you are!” SEE I told you I was there LOL
June 19th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Ohhhhh, this was sooo funny! There was not one law that I couldn’t relate to!! Thanks for the grins and giggles….I truly needed to be derailed!!:rotfl: I am thankful I found your blog again!
June 19th, 2006 at 11:31 pm
I too, love the sex tax… gives a whole new meaning to the term Big Brother is Watching… great post !!!!
June 20th, 2006 at 12:45 am
BTW my husband is fortunate enought to be visiting your lovely state this week…did I mention I used to call Augusta Georgia home for many, many years?:blahblah:
June 20th, 2006 at 5:10 am
Hugssssssssssss:smile:
June 20th, 2006 at 6:39 am
LOL, thanks for the giggles.
I have one…even if it’s the middle of drought season, it is guaranteed to rain as soon as you wash the car.
June 20th, 2006 at 8:56 am
Hi Vickie, I can never resist adding “Coles Law, Shredded Cabbage and Grated Carrot,” when I come across one of these lists.
June 20th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
As long as they don’t tax by the inch…