We gossip because… | Filed under Wednesday’s Wonderings
I often find myself pondering things stupid things, crazy things, funny things, erotic things, beautiful things…..by now you get the picture sometimes I just ponder things. One of the things I’ve always pondered is why do people gossip? Does it tell you anything about others……wait a minute before you answer think, well why should we be wanting to know these things? Why is it I want to know this about other people, just what am I going to do with this information? Are you restless, is that what it is all about….yeah a restless mind. A desire to interfere with others , to know what others are saying and doing …a very superficial mind will gossip or can—or maybe an inquisitive mind that has gone misdirected.
I’ve been guilty, you’ve been guilty, we’ve all been guilty but I bet we were all doing it because we were CONCERNED with the person we were gossiping about—-with their doings, with their thoughts, with their opinions. Now remember I think I said something about being restless….I know you wish I would just get to the point but if I do you might want to go gossip. However instead think about this do we even know ourself…hmm now that is a question to ponder another day. If we don’t know ourself then why do we have that killing desire to know all about HER and don’t forget about HIM oh and remember THEM. Can we make a judgment ..yes but boy will we be off….Just stop right now and think can we judge others, if we do not know the way of our own thinking, the way we act, the way we behave? Why this extraordinary concern over others? Is it not an escape, really, this desire to find out what others are thinking and feeling and gossiping about? It is an escape from ourselves for just a MOMENT . Is there not in it also the desire to interfere with other’s lives? But why is our own life not difficult, complex enough, painful enough, depressing enough, happy enough ….well you get the picture so we don’t need to be interfering with others? Is there really enough time in out life to think about others in this gossipy, cruel, ugly manner? Why do we do this? You know, everybody does it. Practically everybody gossips about somebody else. Why?
Maybe people gossip because they do not have enough to do and think about on their own……who knows that could be it or is it because we want to see what others are doing and perhaps, to put it kindly, to imitate others. Now that is something YOU, and I need to think about most of the gossiping is to condemn others, but, I just turned it around and stretched it……by saying it is really just to imitate others. So why the imitation, isn’t that just a shallowness? It is an extraordinarily dull mind that wants excitement, and goes outside itself to get it. Gossip is a form of sensation…yes I can hear you now…but it really is and we indulge in this sensation all the time. It may be a different kind of sensation, but there is always this desire to find excitement, distraction. If one really goes into this question deeply, one comes back to oneself, which shows that one is really extraordinarily shallow and seeking excitement from outside by talking about others. Catch yourself the next time you are gossiping about somebody; if you are aware of it, it will indicate an awful lot to you about yourself. Don’t cover it up by saying that you are merely inquisitive about others. It indicates restlessness, a sense of excitement, a shallowness, a lack of real, profound interest in people which has nothing to do with gossip.
So come on gossip with me and not any of your shallow imitated sensations. Share that excitement here and don’t be shallow with it.
May 17th, 2006 at 6:01 am
I cannot stand the malicious gossips, the nosey people whose goal is to belittle or harm another through their words, most of which are untrue. I can’t understand mudslinging completely, I know it has to do with making one feel better about who they are by making another feel worse, justifying one’s actions by saying, “did you here what she did?!”
Hmmm, now the gossip that you’re referring to is another story
Did you hear about Vickie? She up and left her porch for the Crossroads. It doesn’t matter what she calls the place, with her, it still feels like home. Now where’s my lemonade?
Love ya!
May 17th, 2006 at 8:29 am
Hey if they are gossiping about me the are leaving someone else alone! I heard Vicki had to leave the front porch!!! It got so crowed she needed a bigger place.
May 17th, 2006 at 9:16 am
Gossip? Not me - never. I think we all do it and sometimes without meaning to do so.
My mother always reminded us - if you can’t say something nice about somebody, don’t say anything. I wish we could do that.
May 17th, 2006 at 9:47 am
Okay,okay. . .*sigh*. . .you bust me. I’ve gossiped once. *snort* Yeah right, move out of the way before lightning strikes. I gossiped a lot during high school.
I think most gossip is done out of jealousy and spite. We love it when people we’re jealous of fall on their keester. It shows they do have a weakness, and like a pack of wild hungry dogs, we rip at that weakness through gossip.
My hubby running for political office was a wake up call to me. He didn’t “mud sling” but his opponant did.
I try not to gossip, and sometimes I catch myself and stop
May 17th, 2006 at 11:57 am
Truthfully I think people gossip to feel better about themselves. “I’m not as bad as so-and-so cause I’d never do something like that” sort of thing. Or perhaps you try to bring someone down in an effort to pick yourself up.
May 17th, 2006 at 12:38 pm
The Bible has some interesting passages on gossip….
(Psstt…. it says DON’T)
May 17th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
At one time being the victim of malicious gossip, I keep myself in check. Now if it’s something Good, something to Celebrate, like this one had a baby, that one is getting married, or whatever, I think it’s ok to share.
May 17th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
pssssssssst ~ I heard that Steelcowboy pushed Ms.Vickie off the porch and Deni went to grab her but fell as well ( I think she was drinking more than the tea) and speaking of tea Vince and Deb were seen out the other day by txocean ’sipping tea’ together~but don’t quote me cause I heard it from Peggy and Karen ~~ so go ask them~~ I DON’T GOSSIP.
May 17th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
What burns my butt is the gossip that is made up and unfounded.
Some people just have no life and have to create havok and something to talk about.
They think they are special because they know something but you know in the end when all is said and done they are sitting alone in some chair stairing out the window wondering where all their friends are.
Great post Vickie
May 17th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
I like Kelly/Klass’s comment…I heard it from Peggy and Karen, too.
May 17th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Gossip is mentioned I believe someplace in the Bible. It doesn’t speak kindly of gossip. Gossip hurts people and can be malicious. We all do it to one degree or another too, but it’s not cool at all. I think people gossip possibly because they themselves have an identity issue, or are not feeling good or confident about themselves. My girlfriend works in a shop, if you’ve ever worked in shops as her and I have, you know how anything you say can spread like gasoline and matches. Bad news indeed… Have a great day Vickie!
May 17th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
I’ll try again but so far three past tries have not been posted when I try to comment on your new blog.
I think gossip is someone’s attempt to bring up another person who is somehow worse off than they themselves are, tomake themselves feel better. Once in awhile you find “good” gossip but it is usually not favorable.
May 17th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
I think gossip is someone’s attempt to bring up another person who is somehow worse off than they themselves are, tomake themselves feel better. Once in awhile you find “good” gossip but it is usually not favorable.
May 18th, 2006 at 12:56 am
Gossip comes in a variety of flavors. There’s the character assassination kind; which always makes me thing of ‘Pick a Little, Talk a Little’ from The Music Man. Do you know how that goes? It’s funny as hell - but quite true nonetheless:
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep
Professor, her kind of woman doesn’t belong on any committee.
Of course, I shouldn’t tell you this but she advocates dirty books.
Dirty books!
Chaucer!
Rabelais!
Balzac!
And the worst thing
Of course, I shouldn’t tell you this but-
I’ll tell.
The man lived on my street, let me tell.
Stop! I’ll tell.
She made brazen overtures to a man who never had a friend
In this town till she came here.
Oh, yes, that woman made brazen overtures
With a gilt-edged guarantee
She had a golden glint in her eye
And a silver voice with a counterfeit ring
Just melt her down and you’ll reveal
A lump of lead as cold as steel
Here, where a woman’s heart should be!
He left River City the library building
But he left all the books to her
Chaucer!
Rabelais!
Balzac!
{Refrain}
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Goodnight ladies
Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Goodnight ladies
Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Goodnight ladies
Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
We’re going to leave you now
Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Farewell ladies
Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Farewell ladies
Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Farewell ladies
Cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
We’re going to leave you now
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little
Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep
Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep
Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep
Pick a little, talk a little, Cheep!
Me - I believe in conversation; and conversation’s a whole lot different than gossip!
May 18th, 2006 at 9:02 am
Hi Vickie ~~ Gossip is not a good thing if it
is malicious and I guess we have all been guilty in our younger days. Hopefully now we know better. I believe in “If you can’t day anything
nice, don’t say anything at all.”
A thought provoking blog Vickie, thanks.
Take care, Merle.
May 18th, 2006 at 10:45 am
I believe it all boils down to how you define gossip, and not all gossip is malicious or cruel or involves passing judgment on the actions of another.
A confidence betrayed, conjecture, jealousy, spreading rumors, this is the dark side of gossip.
Sometimes what is termed gossip is just the discussion of an event.
Some gossip because they don’t have enough worthy memories in their own life, but this is not always the case.
Gossip can be an opportunity to experience things vicariously that some people will never have the opportunity to experience in their own lives. Gossip can be a way for a person to look at someone else’s life situation and to evaluate how they might handle that situation in their own life. Gossip can be a way to learn from the actions of others.
In the words of Phyllis McGinley, “Gossip isn’t scandal and it’s not merely malicious. It’s chatter about the human race by lovers of the same”.
Scandal, now, that’s another matter…
May 18th, 2006 at 9:11 pm
My Dad always said “While they are talking aboput you, they are giving someone else a rest.”
my Mom always said” If you can`t say something nice, then don`t say anything at all.”
In High school , to keep from taking sides in a conversation that was running someone else down, I always gave this reply “That would be telling” and i never added another word. After a while, all my friends stopped asking my opinion about someone as they knew what my reply would be.
I hate seeing the hurt on someones face from mean gossip others have said. I would think-How would I feel if they were talking about me that way.