Me-My Place and My Space | Filed under General
Thank you for visiting a place where you are welcome to come, it is here for you to visit all day, ever day, but this is MY refuge from the stress and strife of the daily grind. Our Porch is a place where my love for life does not die. It is here where I come to share when life may be bringing me down, to share in keeping spirits uplifted, to help teach some valuable lessons I have learned along life’s paths. The sharing I do comes in many forms, thought provoking questions, deep thoughts of my own, thoughts of others, jokes, cartoons, poetry, and your comments. Speaking from experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will be the first to say my way is just my way and works for me.
I am a unique individual. While some of my thoughts and ideas may be similar to those of other human beings, no one possesses exactly the same combination of gifts and dreams and hopes and ambitions that I carry within me. I know the person I am and what I carry inside me. Most of you do not realize that I am aware of the combination of potential, character, personality and ability that I do have or you would not leave the negative comments here that you do. I don’t compare myself with others for quite simply put, our lives are different. You are where you are, and I am where I am. My goals as a unique individual should not be to have and do the things that other people do, but to find my own path, my own way of being, my own way to accomplish my own goals and reach my own dreams.
I know from what has taken place here recently that there are people who would have me believe that I would be better off rejecting my uniqueness and acting just like I once did.. Sorry to disappoint you, I am not here, to conform to what others want me to be–I am here to be myself, to share my unique and special gifts with the people who are a part of my life. I have chosen not to change nor will I distress myself with the “what I should be” or “where I should be” or “what I should be accomplishing.” Instead I will continue to be the ME and look for the opportunities that are here for me to share my gifts and my unique perspective on life with others.
Those who do not appreciate my uniqueness and my individuality, perhaps they have been looking in the wrong place. There are many people who will appreciate me fully, If I try to find “acceptance” among people who want me to change most likely, I will find that their acceptance is fleeting, and their loyalty to me depends upon my willingness to conform. I plan to –always be myself–and be with the people who will accept me for exactly what and who I am. I have not been looking in the wrong places, and I have kept my eyes and my heart open, and listened to my intuition and my instincts. It is those who can not accept ME for the person I am today and the person I am becoming who may have been looking in the wrong place.
I refuse to remain buried layers of disbelief in myself, rejection of myself, or condemnation of myself and my supposed shortcomings. I am a beautiful person who must be recognized, allowed to grow, develop and mature, So I refuse to stay locked in a cage inside of myself and not allowing ME to become everything I have the potential to be. So, I refuse to be anything but ME and if you do not like who I am then please do us both a favor…..Go away for I do have feelings
November 30th, 1999 at 12:00 am
Well you know how I feel on this matter. So I won’t go stressing my finger typing out a long reply and repeating what everyone already else has said. You are loved for so many reasons and you love deeply for many other reasons. You are you and that is the most wonderful thing to be. I love you. Ps. What happened to my Slumber Party invite? LOL
April 23rd, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Sweety, I accept you for who you are and are not. For who you have been, am now and will be in the future. Enough said on that subject.
What bothers me here is how much the naysayers are upsetting you. Don’t let it. They will always be hiding out there just waiting for you to reveal a new layer, so they can bash you for it. It is sad but true. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make them go away, but I can’t. BUT, maybe you can.
You can chose to ignore them or you can stop them dead in their tracks. I am betting that you use haloscan. Go into your account there and go into the Settings; then beta features.
The top choice there is “Moderation”. Change it to Yes. Make sure the spam filter is on. I don’t know if this will help any or not, but it might save you some heartache from those who are being so chicken shit by hiding behind the annon names.
Hugsssss and more hugsssss
April 23rd, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Vickie, I like who you are, the earthy, down to earth woman who has shown herself lately.
And I admire you for not conforming to what these negative commenters think that you should be.
If these people have to hide behind anonymity then they are the ones with issues, why can’t they just reveal themselves? Because they don’t want to become a target themselves? Because their negativity shows THEM in a bad light?
I was always taught that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. As for me, I wouldn’t stoop to their level, if someone feels the need to bash someone in their comments, then they are the ones with problems.
Bravo to you for standing firm and being who you are.
*hugs*
April 23rd, 2006 at 1:19 pm
It’s a strong person who stands for themselves AS themselves. And I for one apreciate that you are that strong.
You have always been unfailingly kindhearted, and unflinchingly honest and that is something I respect and admire.
People in general seem to to forget that what is writting on personal blogs is unique to that person writing. They also seem to forget that since they’re not writing other person’s blogs that they have no right to edit whats being said.
I think people build up an expectation, or a fantasy image of whom they believe is the author and then when the real identity comes through they get thrown off. (does that even make sense? I’m working on no coffee yet this morning!
)
I, for one, would rather have the honesty and the occasional “I can’t believe they said that!” moment than all the candy coated illusions.
So end my morning ramblings…. Bravo Lady!
**hugs**
April 23rd, 2006 at 2:23 pm
There is nothing wrong with you being who you are and the people who can’t accept who you are don’t have to.
The nameless whiners are no more than cowards.
The few with the decency to voice their opinion as who they are don’t have to stop by to enjoy yours thoughts.
PBS has a special on the mating habits of potatoes they could go watch.
You do what you want and what makes YOU happy not us.
April 23rd, 2006 at 2:45 pm
See, you can see from the comments here that you ARE loved for who you are. Bravo to those that commented after me this morning. You have all shown Vickie love and we can all use more of that!!
I also meant to tell you that you can also block those IP addresses within haloscan in the “manage comments” section. It just dawned on me and I felt I should come back and tell you. *insert sheepish grin here* LOL!!
April 23rd, 2006 at 2:47 pm
You must be true to yourself above all and I’m proud of you for not letting those others stop you from being who you are. There is enough negativity in this world without having to put up with it on your porch. You’re a wonderful person and I don’t want you to change a thing.
The porch is a great place and I enjoy being here because I can be myself too and don’t need to be afraid of being who I am. You are my hero not only for how you face life, but for standing up for yourself as well.
Love you, girl friend!
April 23rd, 2006 at 3:50 pm
As I have said before, the blog belongs to the blogger and what he/she writes there is up to them. I think it should reflect who the person is although I do recognize that their own ideas may well change over time, so we should not be surprised if the blog shows some change. There are so many blogs to read that if we find one that doesn’t suit our own personality, then go somewhere else. But, don’t make non-productive comments on someone’s blog!
April 23rd, 2006 at 5:48 pm
The negative feedback brings to mind a few points:
* It seems the main reason why so many people are in constant need of therapy is caused by just such importance being placed on censorship of our own personalities. If life was about constant need for approval, we’d all have major walls built up to hide each part of our characters behind. Good for you, for being you!
* I think there is an extreme difference in being hurtful and being politically correct. Some of the best, gay/lesbian jokes I’ve ever heard where told by people of the ‘alternative’ lifestyles. My best friend is a blond, through and through, and encourages people to forward any and all blond jokes to her. She certainly doesn’t cry or bleed because of stereo-typing in a joke.
* Most people are still trying to figure out who the heck they are. You, Vicki, sound extremely comfortable with the knowledge that you are already there and embrace that woman. For that reason alone, you rock in my book. I may not know you, or have been reading your blog long, but I for one we be looking forward to witness the “pealing”.
April 23rd, 2006 at 11:40 pm
Vickie–
Don’t worry about what others think of you. It doesn’t matter what they think, only how you feel about yourself.
Like others, it bothers me these people are hurting you. You are such a sweet person, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life, my wonderful friend.
April 24th, 2006 at 12:46 am
I was happy to read this post today after we discussed this for a brief bit last night. Be yourself, sister, I wouldn’t like you any other way.
XO
April 24th, 2006 at 1:11 am
Well, I wrote several long paragraphs that pretty much echoed our good friend Karen’s words. She did a great job sharing my thoughts, too - even if she does snatch other peoples lemonade. Be proud of the work God has created in you!
April 24th, 2006 at 1:20 am
i’ve been lurking here for a couple of weeks, and i must say, i find your honesty quite refreshing. from one strong southern woman to another….you keep doing what’s right for you. others will follow along, or not. either way, you’re still wonderful.
April 24th, 2006 at 2:14 am
Hello Vickie ~~ I am still at Peter’s
home but we leave after lunch. Have read some ot the blogs that I have missed, and have more catching up to do at home.
We should be home by Thursday night.
I am so happy that you are feeling good about yourself, and being so honest. We are fortunate to share a part of your life. If some folks are unhappy, let them go somewhere else. We love you, as you are. Do not let then hurt you, or change you. It matters most what you think and feel, and then what your blogging friends think of you. That seems to be very positive. Sorry this is so long and
rambling. Cheers, Merle.
April 24th, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Vickie, I love you for YOU. The only reason I share certain posts on my secret blog is not because I worry about what others think of me but because my children read my regular blog and I respect them (and don’t want to gross them out, you know?)…seriously, I adore you and you share whatever you are comfortable with here in your space. When others refuse to let us outside of the boxes they put us in, they are the ones missing out on letting us be creatures of many dimensions.
Great post from a great writer and friend.
April 24th, 2006 at 5:09 pm
This is for Lucretia above…I have suffered through years of blonde jokes…here are a couple of blonde revenge jokes for your friend:
1. What does a brunette miss about a great Friday night party?
A. The invitation
My favorite:
Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So brunettes can understand them.
April 25th, 2006 at 1:16 am
Hi Vickie, as you know by her comments sister Merle has been here for a couple of days and we have been busy with other things than just blogging, although there has been some of that too.
So I’m only just tuning into the little furore that your hilarious jokes have started, to the wowsers, (do you use that word in the States? it means fanatically puritanical) let ‘em go find their salvation elsewhere, you just “tell it like you see it.”
April 25th, 2006 at 3:21 am
Quite well said. I take that approach to life myself. I revel in being unique and care not one bit for those that cannot appreciate me as I am. There are only 3 people in my life I would consider changing for, and they live under my roof.
So please go on being you and know that there are others out there that feel the same way you do: that you should be only yourself and what you think you should be.
April 25th, 2006 at 3:50 am
Thank you for your nice message, Ms. Vickie. I appreciate your concern for my family. And, I hope you feel better now after having made this post.
April 25th, 2006 at 4:30 am
Your blog should truly reflect who you are and how you feel–otherwise, why have one at all? I think you are a warm, wonderful and sensitive woman who wants to explore who she is and what she wants. Am I right?
April 25th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
You change anything about how you post here and I’ll come down there and kick you in the shins. If anyone doesn’t like what you post, screw ‘em they’re not invited to the porch sessions. No lemonade for them and no cookies either.
Just be YOU.
April 25th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Yup, you got be true to yourself always.
I saw a place called “The Porch” the other day and thought of you
April 25th, 2006 at 5:05 pm
I somehow ended up sitting here on your porch Ms.Vicki~~you know how it is~~follow this blog~to that blog~etc.
I have been reading your posts that have led up to this one and I can only deduce after being cordially invited by a “Southern Belle” to ‘come sit and rest a spell’ that your few readers with negative opinions are feeling a bit duped. I can understand their feelings.
People have to realize that when you have a blog, and post a controversial/contradictory post AND then invite people to participate with their opinions and thoughts~~ that it is very unfair to ostracize them just because their opinions differ.Very undiplomatic.
Yes, it is your blog, and you have the right to express yourself anyway you feel the need to. Yes, you have feelings~~ but dear lady, I can imagine that your invited guests have feelings as well and I for one~ feel the more sorry for them.
I don’t usually participate in these little dramas that people call their life~~ but I just felt like someone needed to defend the ones that have left your porch. I see some of them were anonymous and there was a flak about that.~~ but aren’t we all ‘anonymous’ in the scheme of things?? I choose not to be anonymous~~ and I choose to walk away from your lovely porch because I’m sure your little group of friends will stoning me before I reach the gate. Happy Trails and God Bless.
April 26th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
**pulls out soapbox**
Everyone is entitled to their opinon. No one is denying that in any way shape or form. Ms. Vickie has always been open to other opinions and thoughts. Open discussion has always been encouraged, regardless of what your views might be. All that has been ever asked is respect and consideration.
In that respect…. telling someone you’re disappointed because they’ve posted something, in their own space, that you don’t agree with and making it a big issue, isn’t respectful.
Would you walk into a stranger’s home and demand they serve you and only you??? That is, in theory, what has happened here. Vickie is a human being with her own thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. Just because her sense of humor was different than someone else’s is no cause for people to come in and lay THEIR issues on her back!
Never has Vickie ever posted anything saying another’s lifestyle or belief system, etc, is wrong because it differs from hers. So why is it suddenly “bad vickie” because someone else has come in and done that here to her???
Making comments like “your little group of friends will be stoning me…” is childish, and uncalled for. If you believe that someone is going to blast you for a post, then maybe it’s your subconcious coming out and trying to tell you that you should reread and reconsider before hitting the “publish” button. After doing such, you still decide to put something up there that is going to be considered incidiary, then you best be wearing your fire gear. Plain and simple.
This is Vickie’s “home” and her “porch” and if she chooses to publish something that makes her smile then who are you, or any of the rest of us, to tell her that she can’t do that? If you don’t agree, move on.
**puts soapbox away**
April 26th, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Ms. Vickie,
I have been unable to find an email addy for you, or I would have chosen that venue to apologize, so your blog can get back to some sense of normalcy for you. Instead, I would like to publicly apologize for speaking out of turn on your blog. I am sorry if I’ve caused you any undue stress. I had no right to express myself like that and I’m hoping you will accept my sincere apology.
Let this all end here as life is too precious to carry on in such a manner. If anyone wants to reprimand me further my email addy is klasseylassey@yahoo.com
Happy Trails to you Ms.Vickie,
Kelly
April 26th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Kelly, I far prefer you speak your feelings than not as open communication is something I have always welcomed. The issue was those who chose to comment as anonymous. This does not allow for open communication at all—it is one sided. Or it does not allows for people to interact.
We are each different, special and unique with how we think, how we look, what we say as well as our feelings. We all make choices. This was never to find fault with anyone for any of the above other than for not being able to be adult enough to stand tall and be accountable for the speaking as an
anonymous.
I feel if you want to speak to me then I should be able to know who is speaking to me and how to speak back…which was not the case here.
My friends stood up for me as they know me well. You have nothing to apologize for nad you are always welcome to visit and comment your thoughts.