Saturday’s Smiles | Filed under General
Girls just wanna have fun and we do know how to. I am no different from most so here we are for some..
CONNED
Our instructor was lecturing about self-examination of the breast or testicles when a female student asked another male student and me if we ever got an erection while we did self- examination of our testicles.
We answered that it was possible that we had.
You know, you don’t really want everyone to know when you get aroused.
She then asked, “What do you do about it?”
We said in unison, “Nothing, why?”
She then said, “You mean you go around with a hard penis all day?”
We said no way!
She then states, “You mean a man’s penis will go down without having an orgasm?”
We both said yes.
At which time she says, “I’m going to kill my husband!”
*****
LESBIANS
What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians?A licker cabinet.
What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?A Klondyke.
What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?Militia Etheridge.
Why can’t lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can’t eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
What is a lesbian dinosaur called?A Lickalotapuss.
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?Fur Traders.
What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?Well Hung.
Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?She was found face down in Ricki Lake.
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?Even the pool table doesn’t have balls.
What do you call lesbian twins?Lick-a-likes.
What’s the definition of confusion?Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.
What’s the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? One’s a snack cracker, the other’s a crack snacker
*****
And now get ready
Hope you enjoyed the Saturday’s Smiles. Enjoy your day, put a smile on your face, have someone thinking just what has been going on. Hope to see you here again very soon, you never know what you will find.
Your thoughts are?
April 22nd, 2006 at 7:50 am
LMAO!!!!
The first one was great.
April 22nd, 2006 at 10:46 am
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… *snortle* Viva La France and Jolly Good! You had me laughing hard with the Lesbian jokes then the dicks… gee whiz, what is a girl to do?!
April 22nd, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Egypt really cracked me up, what do you call that? Mummified Dick?
Have a good weekend.
April 22nd, 2006 at 2:03 pm
hehehe where do you come up with this stuff girlie? Those were fabulous.
April 22nd, 2006 at 2:45 pm
Loved the lebian jokes! Thanks for the chuckles!
April 22nd, 2006 at 8:34 pm
My thoughts are
Sad.
I really feel there is a time and place for certain things and my personal thoughts are this isn’t the place for that type of humor. Yes, it’s your blog, Ms. Vicki, but you have to realize that this is an open forum and there are probably people reading this that will be hurt by those jokes.I am not lesbian, but I hear they hurt, they bleed, just like you and I. I can understand your feeling the right to express yourself but I am saddened by the extreme turn of events this past week within your blog. I so hope you’ll find who you are one day and be at peace.
I am honestly NOT judging you other than I feel that you are a beautiful, caring, gracious lady who is struggling with her identity. I am drawn to certain blogs because I feel a certain ‘energy’ from them and that is what drew me to yours and kept me coming back.
I belive I will be moving on though~~ not because YOU are wrong~~ but rather because I have issues. God Bless and Happiness to you.
April 22nd, 2006 at 8:47 pm
Heh. You da woman
April 22nd, 2006 at 9:10 pm
April 22nd, 2006 at 10:05 pm
Just checked in today to see if you were well.I am astonished you cannot understand that “all” people are God’s children and should not be made to feel so horrible with your so called funny jokes. Why do you do this? What have you gained?
I truly feel sorry for your change as you so ofter say “peel off a layer”. I like the old Victoria better and respected her more.I don’t know this person.
April 23rd, 2006 at 12:07 am
Well, um. You do sound different today.
April 23rd, 2006 at 3:48 am
hi vickie, thanks for the giggle. my favourite is the USA one!
April 23rd, 2006 at 3:56 am
Hey Miss Vickie! Sorry i’ve been missing lately. I’ve let real life get in the way of my fun time!
The post about your friend Walker and his postings were truly an eye opener. I thank you both for insights and things to ponder that have never crossed my mind in quite that manner.
Love the jokes on offer today. I’m sorry to see that they’ve offended a few people, but I guess to each their own.
Hope you’re well and talk at you later!
**hugs**
April 23rd, 2006 at 8:19 am
I liked the jokes. I think they were meant to make us smile, NOT to make us argue and “think” about the heavy stuff. Some people really need to lighten up.
Keep up the smiles. I’m still here reading my BFF.
Hugs, love and prayers.
April 23rd, 2006 at 8:25 am
In a recent post you say:
“Many people who have blogs are enigmas and show little of who they are without doing so anonymously.”
You also say that you are open and are showing more of your true self.
Do the people closest to you read your blog? The people you know face to face? Your husband? Brothers/sisters? The niece who drew your blood? Parents (if they are still living)? Next-door neighbors?
Or is is all this honesty intended only for your cyber-buddies?
April 24th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
There goes your blue-nose fan-base.
April 24th, 2006 at 11:25 pm
June 16th, 2006 at 9:48 pm
i just joined today and will probably not return. i was totally offended if not shocked after all the other things i read and then to see you think so little of our President. you can always leave the country!