Monday’s Moods full of raw emotions | Filed under General
Raw emotion wakes people up, it brings things to life. It can even become a way to get a point across. Letting loose every now and then. If it is done occasionally it’s real and it’s powerful.
This weekend I allowed a fucken asshole to get me so angry, so pissed off, so worried that I even felt helpless. You wonder why well I am not going to tell you, I would rather show you.
Have you ever thought about what a junkie experiences, no you live in the world I live in where we don’t think of that, we either ignore it, or we think we don’t need to know. Yeah really we think like that but I have news for you, open your damn eyes before it becomes too late for you. It became too late, too early, time took on a new meaning for me as I worried and felt helpless this weekend over my friend, a junkie. Time seemed to stand still as I was helpless in Georgia and he was in Canada, miles away.
I promised you, I would show you and not tell you well go here and read and follow it here and here as I did and see what emotion you experience. Some of you already know and the others of you will not and it will not have the same impact for this is not your friend. This was a friend, I talked with often, I care for and the Bastard did this to me. I experienced all types of emotion this weekend.
Aristotle once said,” Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way—that is not easy.” A very true statement, something important I learned when all is said and done if I am going to get fuckin bent out of shape again it will be at the behavior not the person. Also listening and paying attention can be more helpful than reprimand.
Walker it matters not once a junkie always a junkie you are a dear and special friend. Thank you for what you shared with us and I respect you more today than I did Thursday.
And your thoughts are?
April 18th, 2006 at 2:28 am
Ms. Vickie - as I mentioned on Walker’s blog, I had not visited him before.
Easter was good because I didn’t forget the reason we celebrate. No, I’ve not been doing well, but I’m getting better. It’s a tad frightening at times, you know, since I no longer have insurance. The last thing I want to do is worry you or my family. I WILL GET BETTER, and thank you so much for caring, my sweet, sweet friend. I’ll call you when I feel up to talking. **HUGS**
April 18th, 2006 at 5:06 am
Vicki, I just came from walkers blog. I only read all his weekend posts today. All in one dose. Like you, my heart sank and fear set in. But then I realized that someone on crack wouldnt be able to write so well. But I had the luxury of reading it all and finding out right away that he was ok. But he did stir up alot of emotions just the same. Having experienced a crack addict in my own family.The worry and heartbreak that addiction causes a whole family is at times overwhelming. I am fortunate, that my sister hit rock bottom before it was too late. Now she is clean and recovering. But Peters words caused a resurgance of that heartwrench.
I hope you are ok.
April 18th, 2006 at 5:19 am
I would be angry too–worry always makes me furious. However, I do see why he wanted to shake people up, and let them see what an addict’s life is like. I would have been a wreck had he been my friend though.
April 18th, 2006 at 5:37 am
I don’t know Walker and I must admit that I don’t understand that lifestyle. I gather, as did Susan, from reading them all at once one after the other that he really didn’t do this now but can understand why it would make someone reading them as posted, hours apart, very anxious for him. It certainly gives me a look into a world I have never (and don’t want to) experience and hope none of my family ever does, either.
April 18th, 2006 at 10:53 am
I saw the first post but didn’t continue reading it. I was upset at the first one because it brought up a lot of the pain I felt/feel about my sister and her “habits.” I couldn’t bring myself to read more.
I am relieved to know that he didn’t do it. I have a little more understanding about the fight and I wish my sister shared the same courage he has.
April 18th, 2006 at 12:51 pm
Your feelings towards this are just. The drug culture has every facet of life that we do here. Some are in control and some are not of their lives. Truth is a scarce thing in their lives and not in ours. I refer to them as the dark side of people. Folks at their worst. To be a friend to one who is on the dark side takes the faith of a saint and the heart of a jailor. A balance best left to our lord. Prayer works wonders.
April 18th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
As I stated on his blog, I didn’t appreciate the way he went about it, but I did appreciate the insight.
My step daughter, who to me is just as much my daughter as my own, is lost in the world of crystal meth, I couldn’t understand her mentality, now I understand a little bit better.
I still don’t like it, at times the fear and worry for her is overwhelming, but Walker’s posts gave me food for thought.
April 18th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
ok my little onion girl. Since I was away I have read the whole thing since I have been gone. Layers is a subject that you have metioned alot. Maybe instead of onion use choclate cake? Or facets like a gem? Because truly my friend your are a diamond. And everytime I read your post I see another shining of your heart. Choclate cake. You could have that creamy filling? Ooopps I’d better stop that! lol. Stick with being you. I like you and you are a whole person to me. No layers just you.
April 18th, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Wow, that’s a lot of material that guy posts; I glaze over on those and lose NINterest pretty quick 2B perfectly honest.
However I’m surprised 2CU get so upset, that’s a good thing every now and then Vickie.
Nice post.
Cheers.
April 18th, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Thank you for directing us to all three. But I agree with Walker in his last post, he wouldn’t have been able to write like that with all of that going on. Nope, it was a head trip for sure, but a great idea to share the trip with the rest of us who really have no idea.
I’ve missed you. Sorry I haven’t been around, but my life is finally back to where I have always wanted to be. Loving, living and working hard.
Hugs, love and prayers.
April 18th, 2006 at 7:39 pm
I think doing that in real time is just cruel.
April 19th, 2006 at 12:06 am
I read all three installments and realized from the start what was going on.. but still don’t quite understand the purpose of frightening his friends to the point of being concerned for his welfare. The people who were most frightened and concerned for him were ones that seemed to have stood by him as a friend…Why the scare factor for them?…It was a remarkable writing and I think would have accomplished it’s goal of educating people as to the mindset of a drug user without doing it in real time. Mr. Walker is quite lucky to have such loyal and caring friends. I am afraid I wouldn’t have been so patient and forgiving. To cry wolf when no wolf is about…is silly indeed.
just my thoughts.
April 19th, 2006 at 5:24 am
hello vickie. he had me very scared on his first post. that is why i went on my blog and asked for help for him. i go to his blog every day and he goes to mine also. we talk over the microphone through msn and yahoo. he did not let me know he was going to do this either. i told him not to scare us like that again but i can see what he was trying to accomplish. he has been there and is close to it all the time. the feelings are with him and he struggles with it. it is a wonder he can survive it each day. every one goes through some things in their lives that are a struggle for them. when we look at people some times we think that this person has no problems but we don’t really know. we don’t walk in their shoes. we only see them for a brief time. it is very easy to be some ones friend when all is going good. like i said in one of my post last week, a friend knows the good and the bad about you. as much as any person can know about another without walking in their shoes 24/7. he knows all these things and still chooses to be you friend. i myself have a lovely wife and she is my best friend. i always want to be the best for her but many times i have fallen short. i have made numerous mistakes and have hurt in one way or another and she is the love of my life and we have shared forty one years together. we have gone through a lot. more than most. some people see us now and think our marriage has been easy and with out problems. if they only knew.
well as you can see i have no problem talking my head off and i hope i haven’t taken up to much of your time.i wish you and yours a good day and a better year. drop by my blog any time. talk to you soon.
April 19th, 2006 at 2:47 pm
I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting Walker firsthand, but from your posts, he seems like a sweet person.
From a professional viewpoint, you did a good job of bringing the reader into his “world.”
On the human level, I was pissed. I was angry someone had gotten my wonderful friend so upset, angry he was throwing his life away again.
I have worked with drug addicts in the past, so I had an inkling in the second post.
After I read the third post, I really must say I admire the guy for being so open, so wanting to help others he risked being shunned. Thanks to Walker for giving us a glimpse.
April 19th, 2006 at 10:04 pm
I’m whispering hope here that you’re doing as well as possible. ((HUGS))