Twisting Tuesday with “Putting a cork in and blow baby blow” | Filed under General
The end of January is here, so we have to say good-bye to the first month of the year! I hope that your January has been one that you can look back on and remember fondly, of not for the many great things that happened, then for the way that you approached life and living during the month as well as the time you spent here on “Our Porch”. Hopefully you are looking forward to the beginning of the new month tomorrow, and looking back fondly at the month that has gone by so very quickly. Today is Twisting Tuesday so…
Have you ever told anyone to “put a cork in it” or wished they would, while the person was trying to express feelings that you found disquieting, you may not have realized what you were asking. If so stop for a minute, whenever we put a cork on releasing pent up feelings or frustrations we may not see the build up that is occurring as a result.
When the cork finally is released, the resulting spray can be far-reaching and more colorfully extensive than we ever imagined it could be. It can affect more people and situations than it ever would have, had it been allowed to be released in a controlled and trusting environment.
Sometimes we have to put a cork on our feelings and frustrations in certain situations because it is not appropriate to do otherwise.
Sometimes we forget to remove the cork and release the build up of negative vapors in some positive way.
Not taking things personally that are simply a build up of someone else’s stress is one way to gently release the pressure on our own cork.
Giving others a chance to vent without taking the situation or statements personally is a way to help others release their own pressure. Doing this without judging the person is how to do this with dignity and respect.
Depending on the situation, sometimes we may feel that we do not have much of a chance to release some of the pressure.
If the cork in the test tube had been left off, the vapors would have been able to mix with the air and the aftereffects would probably not been so surprising.
This is an interesting point to think about. More air would have helped. Perhaps it would have been better to leave the cork off of the tube. Perhaps it also is better for us not to put a cork on ourselves but to keep ourselves open and to breathe deeply to mix those frustrations literally with more air.
If you’ve ever felt the pressure of stress raising you may find that you’ve forgotten either to breathe or that you’ve been practicing shallow breathing.
The next time you’re tempted to tell someone to “put a cork in it” or someone says that to you, try taking a few deep breaths. You may be amazed at the results.
Have a great day and be good to yourself. You deserve it! Just be careful with the cork and where you put it. Lately there have been some corks put on that were not appropriate and then there has been others that should have placed that have not. Stop and think about things before you act or react as the case might be; yes I am guilty as well. When you venture to a blog and you do not like the content, leave, it is that person’s blog and they have a right to their thoughts, and their opinions. If you do not like the content of a blog move on, if you stay and read it and want to comment please make a comment that is in good taste it does not have to agree with the person for we each have our own opinions and are entitled to them If your comment can not be in good taste, do not leave one just move on. If you do not know this person and have been recruited by another NEVER enter the war for you really have no idea what you might place the cork on. Bottom line, treat others as you would like to be treated and the blog world would be a better place to visit. Someone hand me the cork please, hurry?
Ernest Boyer, Jr. once said “ It is a place for what is important to you—reading, study, work, prayer, quiet withdrawal—and it should be used for that purpose alone. “ You could almost say that about blogs so now remember the cork and be good, if not be careful.
And now…..
The Word of the week
“Karma” (noun)- meaning in some religions, the actions of a person in this life or earlier lives, which influence their future
The Quote of the week
“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sum makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” Albert Schweitzer
Joke of the week
Five Minutes
A hospital posted a notice in the nurse’s lounge saying: “Remember, the first five minutes of a human being’s life are the most dangerous.” Underneath, a nurse had written: :The last five are pretty risky, too.”
Idiom of the week
“If you blow something OUT OF PROPORTIONS”- it means that you behave as if it is much worse than it is.
So Twist Baby Twist—-Be Good or Karma will Bite You!
January 31st, 2006 at 8:51 pm
Well I can tell you are in the middle. I read a blog that sometimes doesn’t have the content I like. But they are on the verge of turning into a person of great intelligence. I’ll stick with them because I don’t want to miss the turn. If I was truly offended by them I would tell them that I would not be visiting them anymore and why. But complain about it! Not me. I am the only one responsible for what I read or think.
Bubba, You are a wise one and I’m glad to call you my friend.
January 31st, 2006 at 9:07 pm
Funny you should mention this. There is a blog I read and I’ve posted some very thoughtful comments on it only to have them removed. When I questioned the person about why he removed my comments he told me he didn’t do it. So I wrote him back and told him if he didn’t remove my comments, then maybe he should change his password or get a new account. I’ve yet to receive a response back from him. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were just anyone, but this is someone I have history with and have known for roughly six years. I personally feel that I deserve a little more respect than he has given me over the past year. But that is all I’m going to say now, I’m putting my own cork back in.
Mel, I do believe I came upon that blog through you and it so surprised me to see he had a blog and was writing and sharing his feelings for he was one who never knew how to share his inner feeling with others. I made one very supportive comment and returned there a few times to realize no the blog was not the journal as he had indicated it to be.
You know you can always take your cork off with me because with the history you and I have we have lost our cork more than a few times with each other but very special and true friends we are. You once said I am the Sisiter you never had, that was one of the best compliments I have received. I say that especially as I see you grow, change and become that very special Lady I always knew you would be once you let yourself love you first.
I think, our friend will be forever changed after his experiences in Iraq I knew and saw the changes were going on while he was there during all the communication I had with him. He is and will forever be a friend for he was one who was always around during some of my very difficult times just as you were. I always say you can love someone and not like them and that applies to friends so often. If he ever asked or needed me and I could help but not hurt myself I would but for true friends are always around maybe just silent.
Knowing you as I do , forgive you do and if he came to you, you would be there. Having moved away when I did changed my life in so many ways I found and became the person I love and like which is what you are now doing. I just hope our friend soon realizes he does not like the person he is becoming because he was and is a good kind loving person but changed. I still remember the one who was there for me and visited me so often during some dark times and especially everytime Missy kicked me.
Keep being you, take the cork off when you need to but always rememeber what friends really are.
January 31st, 2006 at 9:30 pm
Karma is wonderful, I believe in it with all my heart. There have been times when I should have put a cork in it but I didn’t and Karma bit me in the behind - on more than one occasion LOL
Great post my friend! I love that quote too. Love & hugs!
Karen oh the Karma, the picture I have right now only you would draw for me…..checking my a** right now, dang it is all still there .I was sure I might have a way of getting rid of a little….you know the new and improved exercise plan G whiz.
January 31st, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Well, you know I live in my own little world most of the time. I haven’t seen or heard of a war going on.
I’m glad.
Thanks for the good advice.
Cork in place.
Ms. Sally–Really there is no war just a lot of observations I have made, things I have seen and know and just my thoughts
Remember though we all have to remove the cork from time to time so consider me a safe one to remove your cork with
February 1st, 2006 at 1:58 am
Giving someone a good corking can only be a stop gap measure. And like you say, plugging a dike does not ultimately resolve the reason for the flood of expression on the other side. To disarm, one must connect. To connect, the weapon of choice is a couple of well placed questions. To pick the proper question , one must listen. No, really listen. Resist thinking of your next clever response while you listen - truly listen. More often than not, you will soon hear the source of the concern or even the deeper pain. Beware of the question that causes that person to face their demons. The choices become more treacherous at that point, from relating to contempt; compassion to scorn. Be prepared to replace the cork, or you might get some on you.
RD, You do have a way with words and say things well–one question and what if I get some on me…oh what am I getting on me is another question.:)
Cum on friend borrow some of GB’s cologne.
February 1st, 2006 at 2:23 am
Loved the post Vickie. If I haven’t corked it sometimes, then Karma has bit me more than once. I have learned a lesson or two !
Love the joke of the week !
*HUGS*
Thanks Dawn, Karma can get us everytime but if we learn is the important thing.
February 1st, 2006 at 2:36 am
Great post! Too often, we jump to conclusions too fast…. and its probably a good thing we cork it up!
I love your word of the day, by the way. As I get older, I’m becoming a strong believer in kharma.
Also…I have a question…In your response to my comment from last night, you invited me to start using the back door instead of the porch door. I’m not sure what you meant? I’m taking it as a compliment, as if I’m one of those friends who just walks in your house without even knocking. Is that what you meant?
Oddly enough, no mattter how good of friend or family, I always knock! LOL I only don’t knock at my parents, cuz, well, that will always be home.
Have a great February!
Gary- Thanks friend glad you enjoyed the post.
As for your qustion, In the South we have always said our friends always come in the back door so when I started “Our Porch” it became a habit for me to say to the friends who stop by and get comfortable leaving comments that the back door is always open. Yes it is a compliment to you—my way of welcoming you and saying I see you as a friend. I add the part of leaving the door unlocked as my way of asking people to just talk in the comments and it does not have to be about the post—-just people enjoying people—a place to gather and enjoy some fun.
February 1st, 2006 at 3:02 am
I have often been guilty in the past of spouting off long after a cork should have been put in it. Continuing to rehash a bad situation almost never solves anything. I now try to ask myself, “Is what I’m about to say going to add anything meaningful to this discussion?” If the answer to that is “no”, there is little to be gained and much to be lost. It’s a hard lesson to learn, and I’m still not always successful, but that one little question I think has saved me a lot of self-inflicted grief.
Chris, I am so glad to see you not just visiting but commenting. You do know you have a special friend here. I appreciate all you are to Mel. Yes I know the friendship you share and how you have been there for her. Also forget the shy act here real or not it will not last with good friends and you will find some here if you stick around and get to know them.
For those who do not know Chris, he is the best friend to Melissa and is responsible for the design work on her site so he also has talent. Now I have started to suck up—watch out Chris, let me see what is it I need.
February 1st, 2006 at 4:51 am
Great Post! I think the main thing is to just have respect for others.
Vicki
Vicki, You summed it up well. Thanks
February 1st, 2006 at 4:52 am
Oh damn. I’ve needed to cork it myself a few times and didn’t. And I’ve corked it when I probably shouldn’t have, and should have spoken up instead. When will I get wisdom? Please assure me that it’s coming??
I just got to make sure I’m not the one in the line of fire 
Damn Jude, I like when you lose your cork
Wisdom if I look in the thersaurus that word I see Jude right there.
February 1st, 2006 at 5:18 am
Excellent post. Sometimes it’s good to leave the cork out and just let the wine breathe. No explosion, just let a little air in to make it all smoother…
Wow Cheryl a great point you made, thank you.
February 1st, 2006 at 10:47 am
That cartoon is a hoot. As we sow, we reap in multiples. I heard that somewhere.
Mike, Hello you my friend will be forever reaping in the GOODS.
February 1st, 2006 at 2:21 pm
There is a blog I visit often. He is a talented writer, and shares some useful and interesting information. But once in a while he expresses a bigoted opinion that can seem so close minded. I either refrain from comenting or only comment on some other subject in the post. If I cant say something positive, I just wont comment.
I love the concept of Karma. I find it really is true that it all comes back to you. The old ‘what goes around comes around’
Susan, See you get in so many ways. One thing is everyone has the right to their own opinion and often we do not agree or we might not like some of them but it is their opinion. You are one smart lady, my friend.
Are you staying dry with all the wet weather up your way?
February 1st, 2006 at 2:24 pm
Mama always taught me, ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nothing at all.’
Good advice even for blogging. There are ways of putting things nicely when commenting, even if we don’t agree. And I agree, if someone can’t, they should just leave.
There are times when we should cork it, and times to release the cork, like you say, and let the fumes breathe.
I like your analogy.
Deni, Mama taught us well, yes mine taught me that as well.
This is just good advice blogging and otherwise now if I can just take and use this myself and remember it, yes I am so human.
February 1st, 2006 at 5:11 pm
I can think of a few people I’d like to stuff corks into, but I’m not sure they make em big enough.
Oh Ellen, you got me with that one. I love it. I’ll see if we can have some supersized.
February 1st, 2006 at 6:16 pm
I totally agree with Vicki said, ” We just all need to have respect for others,” and to keep things to yourself. Just not to yak.
Scarlett LeAnn, Thank you—sounds like you really do understand more than even I at times. How are you?
February 2nd, 2006 at 6:25 am
Well - all I have to say is, “you’re a better man than I, Gunga Din”. My hats off to you honey - I truly wish I could look at things quite as forgivingly as you seem to be able to. I tend toward a more visceral response - especially if I’m having a bad pain day. Writing is a wonderful release, but it doesn’t quite feed my soul like working in the theatre did. That missing third dimension can really leave a hole. I am glad that you seem to be feeling better. I wish I had a magic wand, sweetie; if I did you and I and Trucker Bob would definitely reap the benefit. Alas wands are not standard equipment in this reality. Damn though dont you wish like hell they were?
Ms. FLS, it seems we just might have a mutual admiration going here, you admire the way I look at and handle some things in life and I stand back and go WOW at you.
I’m so sorry your soul is not fed as fully as it once was when theater was such a part of your life, just know you feed others with your wonderful strong writing and the stand you take politically when others just set back and do nothing.
Oh if only wands came as standard equipment I would want them in a select few’s hand and that does not include Georgie Boy
February 2nd, 2006 at 6:27 am
And one more thing - since I hit post instead of preview - thanks, my dear for your lovely comments on my site. You are a blessing!
You are welcome, and I see you as a blessing as well.
Thank you for all you do.