Time has a way of leaving us behind if we are not careful but let me tell you my behind does not leave me, oh no I have to work on that one but here we are gathered on “Our Porch” for Saturday Smilies. So shall we just gather around and get comfortable, come in just a little closer now but wait I think it could get a tad warm here today.

Not so long ago many of us saw a cute picture of some carrots over on Bob’s blog and I came across some which I thought went along very well with his. I received a dare to post them, one thing is never dare me for that just makes me determined to do something so today I am here to share with you what some females might consider as their friend. I believe Karen would be the one to check with because she is often seen checking out the produce everytime she visits the store right before she heads over to pick up her batteries.
Now for the smilies……I received this e-mail from my friend Tom and I believe he might be in trouble but I want to take no chances so e-mail I am not for I believe here on the blog is a much better place.

Subject: FW: The Sex Fairy knows!!
Date: Wed, 7 Dec 2005 12:25:02 -0500

This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn’t change a word! I’m not messing with the Sex Fairy!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
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2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
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3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
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4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming
20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!
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5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
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6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
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7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
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8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
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9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
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10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
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This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The “Hot Sex Fairy” will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn,send it on.
If you don’t, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn’t?). Don’t send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.
Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 96 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.
Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious
Now for one more smile:
One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, “Pastor thereare some things in life that aren’t addressed in the Bible;how are we supposed to deal with them. The Pastor responded,”There are no such things, give me an example of what youare talking about”.The woman responded, “PMS is not in the Bible”. So thePastor thought and told the woman to call back in themorning and he would have the answer.The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastorhad an answer about PMS in the Bible. The Pastor replied,”Yes, it’s the part where Mary rides Joseph’s ass all theway to Bethlehem!”.
Have a great day, and pass me some watter it is hot in here. Now I am off to bed…