Unwelcome Guest | Filed under General
If you have visited the Porch in the last few days you have noticed my absence, I have had a unwelcome guest stop by an she was not willing to share me with you here at the Porch. She arrived slowly without an invitation and chose to once again invade my body. At one time I had a normal body, but she came creeping in ecstatically, playing with my eyes and filling me to the tips of my fingers and toes. Where is your invitation, who invited you here I have often asked her. Many times I have said to her, “I belong to somebody that somebody being me, leave just leave me alone!”
I told that pest of a guest to beat it, to scamper telling her she had overstayed her welcome. She in turn stamped me with her authority in the form of numbness, fatigue, spasms and pain. Once again she reminded she was and could be merciless with her ravenous gluttonous appetite. She teased, taunted and stole the smile from my visage. Slowly I sink into a blackness, where only shadows fall, she is a most unwanted visitor just why does she call? Is it to give rise to the austerity of life’s infinite presence or to awaken in my living some additional pain? I want to know if she could get up smiling and ready after a night of grief and despair, numb, stiff and unable to move for hours and smile. She is nothing but an upsetting trespasser, gate crasher of my party; could she sit with pain, mine or her own? Forcing me to look at life straight in the face on a daily basis, while she slowly hacked and gnawed at my body leaving me with tremors and fatigue,
I need to get away, maybe find some place to hide, perhaps somewhere near the sun to hunt the dark away, but no matter where I am she will always be there or find me to linger and stay, and leave my weary spirit with a permanent disdain, a ghost of chance staying by my side, she will remain, hovering, a souvenir of my destiny, Missy you, MonSter, while I stand alone, always just me and my thoughts, as the moments of my life seek some motive to survive. It doesn’t interest me often, who else you know, or how you came to be here or what sustains you from the inside, Oh! If you dear perpetrator would flee back through the door, and would sleep deeply and contentedly forever more.
I would be found climbing up a mountain, pulling myself higher and higher. No never would there be any pit of misery for things would always seem to look brighter. Grass is growing, birds are singing, and the sun emerges from the clouds. You my unwelcome guest would start to slip, to lose your grasp, and down you would fall. Not quite to the bottom, just teetering on a ledge, you could go over at any moment but have you the strength to climb again? You the unwelcome guest can cause pain, it burns like a fire, the anger, hurt and frustration comes flooding back to me. My fight for survival starts again. Fear I will overcome for I searched and found the holds once again I will rely on myself and allow the support from before. I know it’s going to be difficult, but I did it once, and I can do it again. I know and remember……
I’m not the only one.
Out there are other climbers
Fighting their own battles,
Searching their own soul
And conquering their own mountains.
January 16th, 2006 at 5:10 pm
Wow! So very well written.
I won’t pretend to understand it all, but you know I’m in your corner.
January 16th, 2006 at 5:10 pm
I wish Missy would leave you alone and let you enjoy life as you should. It isn’t fair that my dear friend must suffer so. (((HUGS)))
January 16th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
Tell that unwelcome guest you’ve moved and left no forwarding address. ;0
January 16th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
How I pray for Missy to get lost. In my life I was asked how many times can you fight it? As many times as it takes is my answer. I think we are kindered spirits. I have yet to name mine. Yet mine still aludes the doc. Every time you come back you win. You are the strongest person I know.
January 16th, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Vickie, I am sorry that “she” is here to harrass and torture you. You are a lovely woman who should not be suffering like this. ———– ————————– Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Helen Keller
January 16th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Glad to see you back. We were starting to worry. I hope you are feeling a bit better now.
January 16th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
I see that I need to have a talk with Missy. Missy, don’t let the back door hit your behind on the way out. You’re history.
So beautifully written, but what I wouldn’t give to take the pain away. Love & hugs!
January 16th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
Well I am glad you kicked that unwelcomed guest out and came back to join us. We missed you.
January 16th, 2006 at 10:16 pm
I hope the unwelcomed guest is gone. I hope she has had her last unwelcome visit with you. My heart breaks for you.
Hang in there !
*HUGS*
January 16th, 2006 at 11:20 pm
I know you will beat your unwanted guest out and regain your dominence over your life as you so graqciously do.
My money is on you
January 16th, 2006 at 11:29 pm
As soon as Karen finishes w/ Missy, I’m jumping in, too. Although FTS had a great idea, move w/ no forwarding address!
January 17th, 2006 at 12:10 am
Between you and Ellen, I don’t think I’ve ever know two more remarkable women. I’m so sorry for the pain, and like Karen, wish I could take it away. God Bless you, Vickie. I missed you very much.
January 17th, 2006 at 12:43 am
Get you a hickory switch and run that trespasser off.
January 17th, 2006 at 1:46 am
I’m so sorry about your unwelcome guest. You must resent her visits so much because she is playing with your dreams for your life. Your words are beautiful, but the pain is ugly.
January 17th, 2006 at 1:53 am
Welcome back Ms Vickie. I had thought maybe you’d had a trespasser again. That little wench needs to be taken away and locked in a dark little hole somewhere.
I know the pain you speak of, the tiredness, the traitorous body….but don’t let her have your mind and spirit! As hard as it feels some days we’re all here fighting with you and FOR you.
You’re so much MORE than that horrible little pest. Remember that.
(((hugs)))
January 17th, 2006 at 2:49 am
Hi sweetie! Sorry to hear you’re not feeling well!! I hope it passes soon! Sending good juju your way and lots of hugs for good measure!!
January 17th, 2006 at 3:50 am
That was a good piece. When you’re in the flow there is no one better.
Cheers, sugah. You know we’re in this together for the long haul.
January 17th, 2006 at 4:12 am
Oh Vickie. I understand and feel your pain. The past 24hrs have not been easy here. I’m beside you all the way. Pamper yourself and know you are loved.
January 17th, 2006 at 4:24 am
Oh my - sorry to hear you are not feeling well. Hang in there and I will say a little prayer for you to get better!!
Vicki
January 17th, 2006 at 4:28 am
Oh dear one, you know how I wish that I too could take away that pain. You are a strong and remarkable woman and the fact that you don’t let “her” beat you down, is a living testament to your great character.
Big hugs, love and lotsa prayers. Keep up the fight. Don’t stop smilin’
January 17th, 2006 at 5:21 am
Ah yes I figured that was what was keeping you away from us Miss Vicky, and we’ve missed you.
Hang in there, we’re beside you all the way. ((hugs))
January 17th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Welcome home Vickie, so sorry to hear you have been visited by MiSsy again, stay strong blog friend.
January 17th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
Oh, I wish that she would just go away and find something else to do. This is a well written post, but one I wish you never had to write.
I am praying for you.
January 17th, 2006 at 7:34 pm
sweetie, you’re in our prayers and on our minds and hearts…calling you!
January 17th, 2006 at 10:52 pm
I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with that annoying Missy. Hang in there Vicki, I will pray for you.
January 17th, 2006 at 11:30 pm
Even though Missy constantly reminds you that she is there her unwelcome self. She can’t keep you from being loved. Which you are. She will never douse the light in which you have illuminated our lives dear lady. It will for ever burn.
January 18th, 2006 at 3:00 am
I don’t quite pretend to know what your saying but I do hope your feeling better and I hope that unwanted guest leaves soon!
January 18th, 2006 at 4:54 am
Take care of yourself miss v….You are in my thoughts and prayers!
January 18th, 2006 at 5:00 am
After working in a nursing home, I have a new sensitivity of what Missy does to you. I can’t possibly understand all that you suffer, but you have my prayers.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:00 am
Hey there, my dear - Bob said you were feeling poorly. Sorry to hear it. Pain is something I do understand. I also have a chronic illness that, on occasion, knocks me for a loop. No meds strong enough, so all you can do is breathe. Each day at a time, honey - each day at a time.
January 18th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Sending lots of love and hugs to you!! I’ll be right out to kick some Missy behind.
January 18th, 2006 at 6:37 pm
I’m sorry things are so difficult right now. I wish you all the best and hope you can kick that unwelcome visitor’s backside to the curb SOON.
January 18th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
Very well written. You are a very talented lady, and above all, brave and courageous. Hang in there!
((Hugs))
January 18th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
I’ve had visitors like this. These days they seem be dropping by more and more often.
I, like all the others here wish your unwelcome guest would go away and leave you alone. But until she does, I hope it helps in some small way to know you are not alone.
January 19th, 2006 at 12:20 am
She may be tenacious but I suspect that you’re even more so. Lots of love and comforting thoughts winging their way from my heart to yours.
January 19th, 2006 at 4:09 am
Vickie, I pray that you will be feeling better really soon. You do not deserve this thing. Love and hugs,
January 19th, 2006 at 4:32 am
I am back and I love here.
January 19th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Okay, it is not like you not to post that much. We miss you and can only hope that you will be back soon. Get that Missy under control and come back when you can.
January 19th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Beautifully written. Sorry you’ve been under the weather again. I hate Missy and wish she’d leave you alone!
January 19th, 2006 at 7:34 pm
Sorry ya been stamped on darlin’. Hope and pray you’re feeling better.
January 20th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
Dropping off a Friday hug….
January 20th, 2006 at 10:16 pm
No, you are most certainly fighting your own battle.
Wishing you strength, my dear friend Prayers and thoughts coming your way. ((HUGS))
January 21st, 2006 at 12:51 am
Thinking about and praying for you, Ms. Vickie. I send you love and hope.
January 21st, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Just stopping back to let you know I am still praying.
*hugs*
January 22nd, 2006 at 8:29 am
So sorry you have been invaded by this unwelcome intruder, Vickie. Had a taste of that myself, lately, and it sure isn’t any fun. I’m sending you lots of prayers and cyberhugs. God bless.
January 22nd, 2006 at 2:44 pm
Keeping you in my prayers.
(((HUGS)))
January 22nd, 2006 at 6:12 pm
Okay, I’m sending the posse after Missy right now.
January 23rd, 2006 at 1:43 am
Thinking of you Vickie. I hope you are kicking Missy’s butt !
*HUGS*