Come in for the Saturday Smiles and Cookies | Filed under General
Thank you to my many friends the new ones and the ones who know me so well, who stopped in for a visit during the time I was away. When I returned and looked around, I saw things went well during the time I was away. The only request I ask is next time would you please leave things just a little neater for me. I returned pretty tired only to find no one had cleaned up, all the donuts, coffee and even the special cofee flavors were gone but so many nice comments had been left for me. Yeah I know, a hostess asking you to clean up before you leave does not speak very high of herself does it. Please could you just give me a break this time? After all, I am still finding my way around the Porch and the changes that will be taking place here. One change I decided not to make was the Saturday Smiles, so just come on in set a spell with Ms. Vickie and share a few smiles. Always Remember the back door is open, come in where Life Is Simply Good.
Now for a few smiles…
A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father
said, “Stay here and be VERY QUIET. I’ll be across the field.”
A few minutes later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran backto his son asking “What’s wrong? I told you to be quiet.”
The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across
my feet.
I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck.
But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said ‘Should we eat them here or take them with us?’
I panicked……….
Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes;
Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away
and have their shoes.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava,
let ‘em go, because, man, they’re gone.
You know it’s going to be a bad day when you call
suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon:
Good food, no atmosphere.
One woman to another: “yes, he’s a man of rare gifts - -
he hasn’t given me one in years!”
Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that
teachers are grossly underpaid.
Those who say they “sleep like a baby” haven’t got one.
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is
awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us
realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one
thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of
us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I’m
referring to?
You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea.”
The man lowered his head and said, “Wedding cake?”
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. “Stop!
Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on
your head and kill you.”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The
man was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take
one more step a car will run over you and you will die.”
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came
careening around the corner, barely missing him. “Where are
you?” the man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh yeah?” the man asked. “And where the hell were you when
I got married?”
Please come back and set a spell with Ms. Vickie, the Southern Bell.
January 7th, 2006 at 8:12 am
hey,you got a nice place here,is that your home!gosh! thats huge.
Thank you for your visit and your comment. Oh I can dream
This is a historic home in Macon, GA. where I attended college and Nursing School.
January 7th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Hehe,snort, snort! Have a goood weekend!
Hope there was nothing in your mouth with all that snorting, or someone is going to need a new monitor.:lol:
Have a great weekend!
January 7th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
I was raised to tidy up after myself. And a courteous golfer fixes his ball mark and that of another. And a loyal biker brings his empty to the bar when ordering another. When I left, the porch was clean. I swear!
I knew I could count on you to leave everything clean. What you did not know is everyone saw what you did when you got right down the road and stopped.
BTW, I’ll not tell yet, it is good blackmail material.
January 7th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
*giggling* Glad you’re back Vickie!
Thanks, glad to be back but more important is just how the heck are you and have you taken care of your injury.If not I’ll be sending a few over to help me wrestle you to get things handled as they should be. Seems we have enough friends in common.
January 7th, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Hey! I cleaned up mine! I’m not a messy guest
Now sit down, we have some talking to do. G-Wiz, I wonder what it could be about, Miss Vickie! Ooops, excuse me… my hour is up. I’ll be back… ROFL
Thanks for the laughs, here and on Bob’s site last night. I needed it… the laughs I mean.
Love & hugs!
You are hereby placed on restrictions, Karen you need to be more careful with the G-Wiz. An hour remember restriction
Laughs are always needed and also enjoyed.
Hugs and love to you
January 7th, 2006 at 2:50 pm
Was it my muddy boots? I thought I took them off in the mud room?
No it was not your muddy boots, we all now know the big problem. I just have one question, why did you run off leaving the boots behind?
January 7th, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Gotta love the guardian angel one.
Sorry bout leaving the whiskey bottle on the porch. And it was ok to pee off the side right?
Glad you enjoyed the jokes but we need to chat about your habit here GB. I knew it was you when I spottedyour bottle on the front porch and you have always been honest. Could you at least go around back, next time?
January 7th, 2006 at 3:09 pm
Oh so THAT’S who killed the flowers off the porch!!
Miss Vickie next time I swear we’ll bring along a cleanup crew for when we leave.
Oh, and if I were you I wouldn’t sit in that porch swing until it dries….. Grey Biker’s aim was a little off.
Yes GB is always a good ole honest neighbor so he fessed right up.
Oh no problem the clean up is taken care of I just hired a crew it is all those bloggers that are lazy. They say they want to be a part of the blogging community but they never post, they never visit, and forget a comment so they have been recruited for free labor but we can not tell them that is their purpose.
I noticed there was a big problem with the swing boy was there a problem
January 7th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
Okay I fess up…..it wasn’t Grey Biker, it was me. I laughed too hard, one too many times and well, I’m older, you know?
Not you too, I knew it was a big problem. Now I find out it was both GB and you, yep the truth always comes out.
No problem, I’m getting there so I’v got an understanding.
Making mental note supply depends for next party
January 7th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
Good smiles Vickie welcome home.
Thanks Peter, glad to see you here today
January 7th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
*giggiling*
Good ones Vickie!
Watch that *giggling* Trace
January 7th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
My favourite was the one about the boy and his Dad hunting!!
LOL
Thanks for visiting Laura, come back again and make yourself at home. Glad you enjoyed that one.
January 7th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
I was searching through blogs and came across this one. I love the look and I will visit often. Keep up the great work.
Christopher, Thanks for visiting and the kind compliment. I do hope you will visit again. You are always welcome.
January 7th, 2006 at 7:42 pm
That was funny. Well except the marriage ones, because I hold that institution in such high esteem. Okay, they were still funny too.
And I thought Karen took my stuff into the kitchen to the dishwasher? Okay, I’ll clean up after myself then, it’s so hard to find good help these days. LOL, just that she had offered. It wasn’t our stuff stuck down behind those potted plants was it? I’ll bring over the wet cloth and towels to clean up next time.
Hugs, so glad you’re back again and feelin’ better.
Keep smilin’
Glad you realize the way they were meant Joe and enjoyed them.
You should know never depend on Karen and it was your stuff stuck in the potted plant. I knew it went the darn thing started singing
It is always good to be back and more than that feeling better.
It is easy to smile when I think of you Joe for that is your favorite saying to us.
January 7th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
Hahahaha!!! Fantastic! Nothing can make you feel more alive than a good laugh.
Tanda, so glad to see you stop by. A good laugh is always good for us and I try to bring them there as often as I can. So come back again.
January 7th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Sounds like Jude might be a little intercontinental.
Wow, whoulda thunk, a world traveler.
You are so in trouble just wait till Jude gets you.
By the way you gonna let her travel in the “Cookie Monster” knowing what you know now?
January 7th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Can’t blame the donuts on me. I didn’t touch ‘em. As for the coffee stain, well, you see, there was this squirrel that the dog woke up and saw. It all happened so fast…
I heard about that but I was not going to say a word here. I was collecting a few things for blackmail and boy was that going in there. Oh well
January 7th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
Thanks for the laughs!
I especially like the one about summer vacation. Boy do I know that one’s true!!
Glad you stopped by Ms. Wanda don’t be a stranger and come back for more laughs.
January 7th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
I didn’t drink the coffee, I swears it!
I thought bikers stuck together, GB and RD both said it was you and then Karen agreed. I believe you though
January 7th, 2006 at 11:57 pm
I would never, ever leave a mess, Ms. Vickie; but, those people we hang out with - well, you know how they are ’cause you put up with em too! Welcome back home! Hugs.
Ms. Sally, I was just afraid they might have had you busy cleaning the entire time I was gone, boy was I glad to see you were having a little fun with them
Yes we do need to keep better friends…NOT!
Thanks for the welcome home and a hug from you always has me feeling better cause you are one very special lady.
January 8th, 2006 at 5:30 am
As always, thanks for the laughs! As an about-to-be teacher and a mom who just made it through Christmas Break, I loved the one about teacher pay/vacation time!
Cheryl, glad you enjoyed the jokes. Oh I bet if anyone can relate to that one it would be you.
January 8th, 2006 at 6:28 am
I do so love magnolias - next to camellias they’re my favorite flower. I just wish they lasted longer when picked. I enjoyed the funnies - it’s always nice to have a reason to smile. Hope your holidays were happy - and I wish you well in the New Year.
Thank you, glad you stopped by. Yes if only magnolias lasted longer and did not turn everywhere they were touched. Glad you enjoyed the jokes, yes we all need the smiles.
Thank you for the well wishes,hope you the best as well.
January 8th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
Hello Vickie. Great blog. Came over from Jude’s and CC’c site. I love that house, too bad it’s not yours. I would love to have a house like that. I’ll stop by again.
Thanks for the visit and comment Melanie. Any friend of Jude’s and CC’s is welcome here and a friend of mine so visit again.
January 8th, 2006 at 11:38 pm
Joe - I’m not your maid! LOL
Oh, once an hour? I’m behind…
Thanks for the laughs, I really needed them today.
No Joe should be “OUR maid and cook”
You better get “busy”
January 9th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
Vickie, I miss you, friend. Just wanted you to know.
Thank you Monica, my friend You are missed and loved. Soon our lifes will be normal—well maybe