Saturday is here once again, come on pull up a seat set a spell with Ms. Vickie the Southern Belle and share a smile. I think to start it off we will have a letter from Santa that he has asked I share so here you go…

Dear Friend,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been very good this year and since you have I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird sh*t.
On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can’t read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January. Maybe next year I will be able to get my act together and bring you the things you want.
This year I suggest you get your butt down to Walmart before everything is gone.
Sincerely, Santa Claus

Now a few short jokes…..

Do you know what would have happened if it had been three Wise
Women instead of three Wise Men ?
Women would say:
They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver
the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought
practical gifts.
Here’s Men’s rebuttal…..
Yeah, and do you know what they said would have said when they
left?
“Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?”
“That baby doesn’t look anything like Joseph!”
“Can you believe they let all of those disgusting animals in the
house?”
“I heard that Joseph isn’t even working right now!”
“And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!”
“Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole
dish back?”

Overheard in Santa’s Toyshop: “Please, Mrs. Claus, those batteries
are for the children’s toys!!”

Q. How come Santa and Mrs. Claus don’t have children?
A. Santa spends all his time with elves and fairies.

Overheard in Santa’s Toyshop:
Santa, we already make dolls that talk, walk, wet, cry. Dolls you can dress and undress. Dolls that look real, and move like newborns. Dolls of all kinds, we thought.”
But now you want a George Bush one that blows smoke out its WHAT!?”

Hope you have a great day, smile but remember what Christmas is all about Merry Christmas.