Thoughts on Christmas | Filed under General
I have realized something and I have a feeling if others were honest they just might share the same feelings with me. These feelings sadden me for as Christmas approaches I am filled with dread this year. Having said that I realize I am in good company, George Bernard Shaw wrote in the early 1890’s, ‘Like all intelligent people, I greatly dislike Christmas.’ Ambrose Bierce, in ‘The Devil’s Dictionary’ (1911), went further, defining Christmas as, ‘A day set apart and consecrated to gluttony, drunkenness, maudlin sentiment, gift taking, public dullness and domestic behaviour.’ The popularity of Christmas has waxed and waned. Whatever your position is on Christmas is it has been increasingly commercialized, it has huge potential for family friction, fuels endless hangovers and can generally be relied on to produce moments that are both memorable or moving in one way or another. This is one of the reasons I feel the way I do this year.
We no longer are able to see the difference between the glitter and the real gold this Christmas season. We are so easily seduced into thinking the gifts of the season are to be measured by their price tags. We should remember that the richest gifts of this season or any season are gifts of the spirit that don’t have to cost much money at all. Gifts I give are given to nurture the souls of those I care most about and are given from my heart with love. This holiday should be one of warmth and gratitude where gifts are given of life and love nothing less.
May this year in some way, I find the ability to give and receive gifts of the spirit in this most spiritual of seasons, and may I be grateful for the opportunity once more to give and receive in gratitude for the manifold blessings of life. A gift doesn’t need to cost a lot of money, it doesn’t measure worth or meaning in currency. The gift I give is of the spirit, because life is short and we shouldn’t let much of life get past us without trying to be at least a small blessing to those whose lives touch ours in some way.
Oh this is not the Christmas hype or hoopla, it’s the real stuff, the quiet background, the truth the stuff that’s there after you have said No to all the nonsense. It will feel wonderful to both the giver and the receiver, and that feeling which is wonderful lasts a very long time. You have just been such a very big part of it. Please never take that away from the giver if you are the receiver, allow them to enjoy that for it is truly something they want to do for you and something they enjoy doing. The feeling they get from giving is a wonderful feeling that lasts a long time, it is far worth more than the money spent, and you were just a very big part of it.
Actually—this is kind of an early Christmas present here. I just wanted to share my thoughts so when you receive that present stop and think they gave that gift from their heart and it matters not the price let me accept it with mine.
So over the next few days maybe I can find a way to help my mother and sister settle their disagreement, accept the fact my dad was buried during the holiday season but we must move one, and that this season is for Children and I will never have my own and move on. Yes I think I need to be a part of Santa’s team. I think it might even need to become a movement, you know. I can not hide now and I do not want to be saying……..
Oh God, Not Another Christmas!
December 15th, 2005 at 2:40 pm
We have somewhat the same feelings, but as usual you say it much better.
I absolutely understand your sentiments.
December 15th, 2005 at 2:43 pm
Vickie, I’ve read several excellent posts (yours included) about Christmas…the commercialism, the politically correct, the financial burden, etc.
I try to let it rein me in a little but the truth is that my son has been gone the last two Christmases and all I can feel this Christmas is JOY. I know you, my friend, can understand that. I sympathize and empathize with others who aren’t having such a joyful one, I know I wanted to bury my head and forget Christmas while he was in Iraq, but I couldn’t.
I love your post, friend. And I’ll be mindful of my prayers for your family this year.
December 15th, 2005 at 3:09 pm
It is hard to separate the commercialism and the true meaning. I’ve had trouble in past years, but when Christmas Eve and morning arrive that all changes. Having family around and enjoying each other’s company, and I see the joy in other’s faces from what I give them, even if it is a can of Chex Mix, they beam. Christmas hugs and telling one another that we love each other is special, although we tell each other throught the year now.
This year my feelings toward the holiday have changed for the better. My attitude has changed because the whole politically correctness has lit a fire in me, for fear of them taking away our Christmas and the fact that I have a lot to be grateful for. Loved ones (friends included) and life.
You have an amazing spirit and you have a right to feel what you feel. Just remember you are loved and that Christmas is in the heart.
*HUGS*
December 15th, 2005 at 3:25 pm
There is something that I don’t understand with the “receivers” and you have expressed this part so nicely over here.
I can say that I am a very generous person, sharing what I can and what I would want to impart. All too often, I get hurt because the receivers think of the “from the heart and soul” bit as artificial.
I cannot say that enough and stress that more…it brings me joy to give, to share. If only they’d accept it WITHOUT question or without feeling indebted, that I will be given the most that I ask for–finding JOY in giving.
This year will be another Christmas spent away from blood relatives. Nevertheless, I hold on to the thought that I will be spending my Christmas here with my OTHER loved ones = TRUE friends.
When we start to put pressure on how Christmas should be, then that is where these issues begin.
We all have so much to be thankful for. The mere fact that we are here, that we can live, we have shelter and food should be celebrated…most importantly, the thought that we can do something for others!
December 15th, 2005 at 4:53 pm
I understand and posted about it a little bit today. All of my grandparents died at the holidays. One of them on Christmas Day two years ago.
Try and let the spirit feel you with joy. You know that we love you and think you are fab and if you start to doubt, please think of that.
XO
December 15th, 2005 at 5:14 pm
I can see where you’re coming from, and it is so easy — too easy — to see only the gluttony and secularism that Christmas is to many people. If we look past all of that for the truest meaning, it is all about celebrating the greatest gift of all. We will find whatever it is we seek.
Blessings to you for a Merry Christmas.
December 15th, 2005 at 5:38 pm
I think my friend you are doing just what you need to do now. Yes losing loved ones will always be on our minds. No matter what time of year it is. Christmas time is the time for the heart. Joining Santas team is a wonderful idea. Nothing like giving of yourself to help with the blues. Remember your loved ones can help in more ways than you can imagine.
December 15th, 2005 at 5:47 pm
I’m with Karen. I KNOW my faith and I’m also with Paul and Silas (Ro 12:12)they taught me a thing or two. I’ll happily join them in song!
December 15th, 2005 at 7:14 pm
Christmas is INDEED a time for the heart….spending time with loved ones and shelling out hugs and time together is what it’s about, and I just ignore all the hype and commercialism. In spite of it, I still enjoy my favourite season of the year……
I lost my mom during the Christmas season only 2 years ago…lost my dad many years ago, a husband 10 years ago, and my best friend 4 years ago…. since I lost my dad first (29 years ago now) Christmas always has it’s sadness that tugs at my heart, because those loved ones are not here physically with me. But I shell out my love to them anyway, and spiritual hugs. Yes it can be a very wistful time of year for many, but it’s still the season of the heart and I cherish it.
Merry Christmas to you Vickie, in our own way we give to each other all year, and at this time of the year we just celebrate that.
December 15th, 2005 at 8:26 pm
Hi Vickie,
I also share your sentiments. If you form a movement, I would love to join in too. I’ve been down this year since my family has gotten smaller, (dad passed away) friends moved away, etc. And lately I just plain don’t feel up to snuff (gallstones I think). But I would like to enjoy Christmas for it’s true meaning and just let the commercialism float on by. Like you, I don’t want to say: Oh God, Not Another Christmas! next year. I’m afraid I’m already guilty of saying it this year, lol!
I enjoyed this post, makes me think. Also, I’m so enjoying your total blog! You write very well
December 15th, 2005 at 9:33 pm
So much to be thakful for! I pray that all will remember the reason for the season!
December 16th, 2005 at 12:25 am
Hi Vickie, it’s good to see you back doing what you do best, writing beautifully and giving us all something to think about with your incisive viewpoint.
have a wonderful Christmas.
December 16th, 2005 at 1:49 am
You are so right Vickie.
We don’t find Christmas in gifts, or in the boxes and wrappings. We don’t find Christmas under the tree, or even under the mistletoe.
We find Christmas in our hearts every time we reach out to someone.
December 16th, 2005 at 6:39 am
I love this season. I love looking at my little family gathered around the tree on Christmas morn. We enjoy the giving and the getting, but, mostly, we enjoy each other.
December 16th, 2005 at 12:45 pm
Should old acquaintances be forgotten
and never remembered
Should old acquaintance be forgotten
For old long ago
For old long ago, my dear
For old long ago
We will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago
And there is a hand my trust friend
And give me a hand of yours
And we will take of a good drink/toast
For old long ago
For old long ago, my dear
For old long ago
We will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago
Merry Christmas everyone,
Happy New Year!
December 16th, 2005 at 12:50 pm
Vickie: I forwarded your concern and well wishes to Steel Cowboy. He added some comments to his page. You take care, too.
December 16th, 2005 at 5:09 pm
You are right. I did a short post about the meaning of Holidays versus Holy Days on the 100 Bloggers site a few days ago. For the commercialism has long ago taken over the true spirit of Christmas. And this was the time last year when my marriage fell apart so that this time of year is also quite emotional that way as well. But the true spirit is in the love and sharing that we do as families. I have my two beautiful children to be thankful for and to lavish them in love if not in gifts, a new angel and her kiddies and family as well. So instead of dreading the season, I have decided to celebrate it with love and joy and anticipation of the future. Big hugs and love to you. From you BFFIWWW.
PS: As per Mike’s last comment, I couldn’t find SC’s email but see he has added the note.
December 16th, 2005 at 7:39 pm
So, so many are saying the same thing. So why can’t we bring it back to the way it use to be? In my mind that would be beautiful.
December 17th, 2005 at 3:18 am
Very true post.
Christmas has become so comercial and people spend way to much money.
It has been twisted out of proportion by big business.
Mow having said all of that I also want to say this.
No matter how hectic and crazy this time of year gets.
No matter how much we spend to make those we love happy.
No matter what bullshit we go through at the department stores.
The core of Chrismas remains.
People stop and help others.
MILLIONS are donated to Christmas funds for the needy.
I see people stop and help strangers on the street.
I have seen children bring some of their presents to the boys/girls club for the kids that may not get any
Sure we are gluttons and know how to go to war for that last toy at the store that everyone wants.
But we also do not forget what it is all about.
That’s people.
Have a nice weekend
December 17th, 2005 at 11:03 pm
Vickie,
You seem to have a chorus of people who share your sentiments. Count me among them. I embrace the true spirit of Christmas. Isaiah 9:6 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible, and I read it all year long to lift my spirits:
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)
As for Christmas in general: I have hated it for many years. Actually the period from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Eve has always been tough on me. I am so happy when New Year’s Day arrives! When I was the parent of young children, I worked very hard to be upbeat. The challenge then was that I worked in a career that required me to work evenings, weekends, and all holidays. It was hard enough trying to find the time to shop. Finding the time to do “mom stuff”, like baking and upholding family traditons, was definitely a challenge.
Maybe a little bit of my feelings about Christmas is learned. My mom, who passed away earlier this year, would become a recluse this time of year. My dad hates the commercialism of Christmas and doesn’t care from the hoopla. (As life would have it, both my mom and I lost our oldest children shortly before the holidays. I know that’s why she became a recluse. She lost the infant when she was pregnant with me. She never got over it. As for me, I think I just hated the commercialization of Christmas, plus I missed my mom when she would retreat from the world. Praise God, she’s much happier now.)
I am always happy to be around my kids at Christmas. But once they go off to visit their dad and my in-laws (thank the Lord for them!), I usually sit at home - relaxing to watch Law and Order marathons. Homicides are so relaxing! LOL
I’ve had a lot of other challenging experiences over the years, but I think I’ve shared too much already.
Merry Christmas, my dear friend. All of us will “survive” another Christmas.
You and your family remain in my prayers - and I am more than happy to come and sit with you anytime. God bless you for this post.
December 19th, 2005 at 6:13 pm
You never really know what it is like to lose someone close to you, until you lose someone yourself. Vickie, when your father passed away I could never really help you because I never knew what to say. But now things are a little different. I just want to say that I’m sorry I wasn’t the friend I should have been. I love you my dear friend.