It’s Saturday, time for some smiles | Filed under General
You have all heard me talk about what Missy has done to my brain, well I thought it was time I shared it with you. Since I just had an MRI I was able to steal away a few things to share with you here. Now for the smiles.
Forgive me those who are from Texas this is just how the jokes came to me.
** THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN A TEXAS SCHOOL DISTRICT.
(SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.)
** MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR’S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.
** PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.
** DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC’s JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN.28, 29, 30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.
** PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.
** PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A REE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.
** JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.
** CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.
** MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.
** CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.
** PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.
** PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE POOPS. [WORDS IN ( )’s WERE CROSSED OUT].
** PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.
** IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.
** PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER’S FAULT.
** I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.
** PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.
** SALLY WON’T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.
** MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.
** PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.
** PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.
** GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.
** PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.
** MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORE THROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AND SORE THROAT,HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN’T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.
** NOW WE NO WHY PARENTS SCREAMING FOR BETTER EDUCATION FOR OUR KIDS
North Meets the South
A girl from the South and a girl from the North were seated side by side on a plane. The girl from the South, being friendly and all,said, “So, where ya from?”
The Northern girl said, “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.” The girl from the South sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, “So, where ya from, bitch?”
Enjoy your Saturday, smile and come back pull up a seat, set a spell with Ms. Vickie the Southern Belle. Remember Smile yall
November 19th, 2005 at 2:45 pm
Good laugh for the morning. Got to love my southern girls.
November 19th, 2005 at 2:59 pm
“So where ya from,Bitch?
Just love it Vickie, nothing like a good belly laugh to brighten one up.
November 19th, 2005 at 3:18 pm
Love that southern humor. Was the plane flying east to west?
November 19th, 2005 at 4:42 pm
I am SO laughing over the female brain LOLOL
November 19th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
It’s one thing to be “one-upped”, but I’ve been slapped cross-eyed!
Those are classic. Thanks for putting them up.
November 19th, 2005 at 5:17 pm
Hey girl, what a way to start the day! LOL! I jus lovs ya nw plce! Have a great weekend!
November 19th, 2005 at 5:22 pm
Thanks for the laughs !!
Have a great weekend !!
*HUGS*
November 19th, 2005 at 6:04 pm
The female brain is so funny and so the notes. I loved the joke! LOL
Thanks for brightening my day as you always do. LOVE & HUGS
November 19th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
As for the brain picture - now I know exactly which parts I am missing and/or are lost and haven’t been relocated.
I love the excuses and I especially like the girl from the south. I had heard that a long time ago and still laugh at it. I hope you’re having a comfortable, good weekend.
Smiling back at you.
November 19th, 2005 at 9:24 pm
Wherever there is a school, there are interesting and creative parents. I know this from experience.(diarrhea is a hard word to spell, but I don’t think excuse is)
November 19th, 2005 at 11:10 pm
great chuckles…thanks! Will add your new blog to my roll!
November 19th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
Wow! I remember when I use to spell bad when I first started writing on a messege board called Shark Attacks, before I started my own blog, but I still visit my old friends their to say “hi”, and see how they are doing and to correct there spelling when I have a chants.
Hope you are having a nice weekend, Vickie!
November 20th, 2005 at 12:00 am
Umm..my sex initiation gland is a little bit bigger than that. You think I should have it taken out????
November 20th, 2005 at 12:18 am
Something tells me I’d love to set a spell with Ms. Vickie.
November 20th, 2005 at 2:28 am
Oh yes I think the sex part is bigger for most of us ladies, but maybe we shouldn’t tell the men?
Thanks for the belly laughs, Soul Lady!!
November 20th, 2005 at 2:34 am
lmao!!!! Too funny. What a great post. I however do not agree with the womans brain pic. I would make that up entirely different.:)
November 20th, 2005 at 10:50 am
LOL! What a great way to start my Sunday morning! Thanks for the laughs, V. They should excuse me tomorrow for having a sidestitch. My tummy might spill over.
November 21st, 2005 at 4:40 pm
Okay, that picture just proves again that i’m not a ‘normal’ female. I detest shopping to the extreme! And I don’t even own a “Shiny things and diamonds olfactory”!!!
November 26th, 2005 at 3:18 pm
These are GREAT. I love kids!