Most days you visit Always Victoria and you find my writing but there are many facets of me and today you will see another side. Yes I like to have fun , bring laughter into lives and share jokes which might just be a little adult in nature. This is not what you find often but it is part of me so I will be sharing some of this with you at times and today is one of those times.

So enjoy the smiles and remember laughter is good for the soul.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month so to keep along with that theme for the month here is a little cartoon.

The election is over, but the bumper stickers will remain for years to come…

1. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Four More Wars!

2. BU_ _SH_ _!

3. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Because the truth just isn’t good enough.

4. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Compassionate Colonialism

5. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Deja-voodoo all over again!

6. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Leave no billionaire behind

7. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Less CIA — More CYA

8. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Lies and videotape but no sex!

9. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Making the world a better place, one country at a time.

10. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Putting the “con” in conservatism

11. Bush/Cheney ‘04: Thanks for not paying attention.

12. Bush/Cheney ‘04: This time, elect us!

13. Bush/Cheney: Asses of Evil

14. Don’t think. Vote Bush!

15. George W. Bush: A brain wave away from the presidency

16. George W. Bush: It takes a village idiot

17. George W. Bush: The buck stops Over There

18. Vote Bush in ‘04: Because dictatorship is easier

19. Vote Bush in ‘04: It’s a no-brainier!

20. Vote for Bush & You Get Dick!

Guy Names

Aarons are dependable and talented.
Allens are preppy.
Alexes like porno, usually hot in a skater kinda way
Everyone has an Andy.
Bens are the smart, silent type.
Bills are the ones everyone chases and no one gets to keep.
Bob is the universal name.
Brads try too hard.
Brandons are dark haired, players.
Bretts are shy and clumsy.
Brians usually have only one good feature (but I haven’t quite found it yet)
Calebs never grow up.
Carters are rich, power-hungry snobs.
Chads are hot, quiet but interesting once you get inside.
Charlies are walking sex.
Chris’ are undefined and should remain so.
Craigs are a little misguided.
Dans are thick.
Daves are impossible to get over.
Dennis’ are quiet, desperate flirts.
Devons are destined for trouble.
Doug is the nice guy that repulses you.
Eds are thbp
Eddies are fast.
Erics are forgettable.
Ethans smell .
Franks and Tony’s are Italian Stallions.
Fred is in the chess club.
Fredericks could be snotty.
Garys are gross Nazi’s.
Georges are mild-mannered and have weight problems.
Glens are either short or intelligent.
Gregs are bizarre.
Initial name guys are cool.
Jakes are insecure and slightly repulsive .
James’ are egotistical and stupid.
Jamies are shy but cuddly.
Jareds think they are the best thing since sliced bread.
Jasons are fun loving and handsome.
Jeffs are lost puppies, though they are adorable.
Jeremys are a tad fruity.
Jimmy’s are sweet and sexy!
Joes are awkward, shy-guys in first date situations.
Joels are frustrated. tend to hang out with Nelsons
It’s hard to stand out if your name is John.
Joshes are romantic back-stabbers.
Justins mess with your mind.
Kevins have swanky hair.
Keith is built, but dry and annoying. It’s like dating a broom.
Kens just don’t measure-up.
Korys are egotistical, pleasure-driven jerks.
Kyles are horny bastards!
There is always something wrong with a Kurt.
Leonards are avid bug collectors.
Lesters are molesters.
Lonnies are nasty.
Marcus’ are players
Marks are ‘touchy.’
Martins have a strange sense of humor.
Matts are queer- one T or two.
Mikes are rascally, troublesome guys but are usually nice.
Nates are cocky for a reason.
Nelsons are home-schooled.
Nicks are jerks, immature and only want your body.
Owens have large families and drive fast.
Patricks are also incredibly sexy.
Pauls suffer from male-pattern baldness.
Peters are stalkers.
Phils are sensitive but geeky.
Philips are more geeky but equally sensitive.
Rays are players but majorly hot!
Randys have facial hair problems and pyro tendencies.
Richard–Dick, need I say more?
Rickies are very sensitive, cute, and charming!
Robs are sleazy and make you feel cheap.
Robins are tormented.
Rod (the name itself) is perverted.
Rons are into pasta.
Roys are so childish.
Ryans are never appreciated.
Sams just like sex.
Scotts are hormonal and usually bad news.
Shawns are sweet in one-on-one situations.
Shanes are shady.
Simons are thin.
Steves are extremes (usually incredibly good looking incredibly bad)
Theos (or Theodores) always make you smile.
Timothys like to be mommied.
Todds are sweet, sporty guys.
Toms are nerdy but poetic. They have that inner something.
Tommys are way to possessive & need to get a life!
Travis’ are dumb jocks.
Tylers are genetically small .
Vances are good conversationalists.
Wesleys are romantic.
Williams are fat.
Zacks are good looking, but aloof

Some of the many reasons I was fired from working at the local toy store…

A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean.

Every time you’re passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to “end it all.”

You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks.

Numerous parental complaints about your “Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy” display.

You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.

Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they’re the new “Jerry Springer” edition.

The “My Little Taxidermy Kit” (with starter squirrel) is not selling.

Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct.

Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again.

Source of reefer smoke finally traced to “nostrils” of Geoffrey the Giraffe.

Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel.

Caught hocking phlegm into tykes’ hands and telling them it was “homemade Gack.”

Your sales display, “Barbie’s Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu” was not exactly an overwhelming success.

Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar.

Regardless of the question, you answer, “Bite me, kid — I’m on break.”

Great Witticisms

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Born free… taxed to death.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I’ve ever made.

So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute!

Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.

If, a two letter word for futility

I don’t care, I don’t have to.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

All men are idiots … I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Earth first…we’ll mine the other planets later.

Give pizza chants.

Don’t hit me. My lawyer’s in jail.

This isn’t burger king, you can’t have it your way.

How can I be overdrawn, I still have checks!

If something goes without saying, LET IT!

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply

Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.

IRS We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.

Life’s a buffet… so eat me!

I’m just driving this way to piss you off.

If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.

I love cats … dead ones

I love cats … they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Where are we going? And why are we in this hand basket?

I want to be like Barbie, that bitch has everything.

Keep honking, I’m reloading.

Cover me. I’m changing lanes.

Prevent inbreeding: ban country music.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Spotted owl taste just like chicken.

Hang up and drive.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.

Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.

I don’t have to be dead to donate my organ.

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.

This would be really funny if it wasn’t happening to me.

I have the body of a god… Buddha!

I get enough exercise pushing my luck.

Auntie Em- Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy

If you don’t like the news, go out and make your own.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep

Guns don’t kill people… but they make it real easy.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Tow-ers will be violated

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do.

Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.

If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.

Sex on television can’t hurt you… unless you fall off.

Remember laughter is good for the soul but this was only an interruption and we will return to the scheduled posting. Enjoy this little change and remember Life Is Simply Good.