Friendships, connections and relationships | Filed under General
It has been one of those times when it was not coming together here and all of a sudden the spark caught and a flame erupted. Spewing forth where the roots of love sink down , deep and strike out far, are arteries that feed our lives, so we must see that they get the water and sun they need so they can nourish us. And when you put something good into the world, something good comes back to you.
Albert Schweitzer once said ” In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ” I almost backed away from this quotation, and wrote about something else. Once I realized that I felt so strongly about it, I knew that it was important that I write about it, because I tend to shy away from many things that make me uncomfortable, no matter how good they are for me. And this quotation addresses one of the things that intimidates me most: people, I want in my life.
Usually these are people with whom I feel some sort of connection or bond as soon as I meet them, and for some reason I find that I avoid them after I meet them. I believe that it’s because I can see the possibility of getting too close, and closeness isn’t as safe as distance. If I get too close to someone, the possibility of getting hurt is far too great. The possibility there is that I’ll disappoint this person or they will disappoint me thus sabotaging the relationship.
By stepping back from these people, though, I do myself a huge disservice, for I lose a opportunity that I might have had. My fear has stopped me from growing many times in my life, and I often wonder where I would be if my fear hadn’t been so firmly in control for so long. The people who “rekindle my inner spirit” are the people we should embrace, about whom we should rejoice; instead, how often do we treat them in ways that are unhealthy to us and harmful even to them?
There are people who can rekindle that spirit, who can light the fire inside. The question I have to ask myself, though, is whether I’m open enough to allow them to ignite that spark, or am I keeping them at arm’s length to “protect” myself, thus never allowing the flame to be lit? Yes this does apply to meeting on line as well there is no distinction to where and when you feel a connection and a bond begin.
By now you know the routine here, so please don’t be shy talk to me share your thoughts . Have you ever regretted not actively pursuing a friendship or relationship? Why didn’t you pursue it? Why do you regret not doing so?
If you were to meet someone who seemed to be a potentially “helpful” person, one who might rekindle your spirit, which ways of acting might be appropriate and effective? What might you say and do to foster the relationship rather than hinder it?
Can you be the flame that rekindles other people’s spirits? How? What is your thoughts now that you know my thoughts about on line relationships? I hope you speak up here and please be loud, I know you can at times.
Remember Life Is Simply Good.
August 23rd, 2005 at 5:39 pm
I believe this goes hand in hand with the road less traveled. It seems that we as people tend to lean toward that which is familiar and common. Luckily I have never been one for staying quiet and unnoticed. I like to meet new people and learn from them. It seems that whatever we need in our life is usually very close by if only we would stop and notice it. As for relaioinships online, I can’t say I’m against them. Is there a danger? Of course. But there is a danger in anything you do. Online people can be themselves and I find are more honest and open to letting you see the real them. As for rekindling other people’s spirits? I think that like a single flame can quickly become a forest fire so to can a single kind word become a lasting memory. Just be kind to one another and try to see the other person’s point of view before you disagree and you’re quite apt to learn something.
Like the new look of your blog.
August 23rd, 2005 at 6:39 pm
Generally speaking, I am very shy. And, yes I have definitely pondered the fact that I’ve not gotten involved with some people because of the fear of loss and pain. People that I know I’d enjoy spending time with, but, for whatever reason I’d back away. I positively believe we each have more than one purpose in life; but, to be quite honest I sometimes question what it is other than having given birth to my child. I know I think too much about things that I have no control over. But, all in all, God is so good, and as you say Life is simply good. Thank you for another wonderful post dear girl.
August 23rd, 2005 at 7:03 pm
I’m a people watcher more than a people person. So it’s hard to put myself in your situation. Maybe guys in general don’t think in those terms. Somebody told me once to be wary on-line–every woman you come to know will want some kind of relationship and every guy you come to know will eventually want to fight. I don’t agree, but it tempers what I do on-line.
Hea, I keep looking for the AlwaysVictoria who commented on my blog. If this is she, thanks for your comment. And go Tigers!
August 23rd, 2005 at 8:01 pm
I’ve been so shy most my life, that I often wonder if I did let someone go that I shouldn’t have. I’ve been very lucky though, to have had and have incredible friends. I do believe that people come into our lives to help us or for us to help them. To have a connection with. Flames should ignite on both sides - when I need a light then I’m thankful for someone to give me one, and I’m sure happy to give someone I care about a light.
As for how can you not hinder the friendship if you need more? If that person is the right one to help you, then there’s really nothing to hinder. No matter what you need.
*HUGS* Love ya!
August 23rd, 2005 at 8:28 pm
What a tragedy it would be to go to our grave wondering what if…………
August 23rd, 2005 at 9:22 pm
Hi,
I just wanted you to know that the words here are beautiful, but even if they weren’t, they would come simply to see that picture anyway. Thank you.
August 24th, 2005 at 1:18 am
I keep waiting for you to post one of your deep thoughtfilled posts on Sister-Friends……We’d love to have one of your meditations.
Please share with your Sister-Friends…..
August 24th, 2005 at 1:43 am
The shell was meant to be broken and for life to emerge not to contain it secluded from the world and its wonders.
What failed risk was not a lesson learned.
Its safe to keep to yourself but damn it boring and lonely. Go out and meet the world and embrace it.
If part of it bites you, slap it out of your way and go on to the next risk.
August 24th, 2005 at 5:04 am
Hmm. Great thought. I shall need to ponder on this…
August 24th, 2005 at 7:23 am
” In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ”
Where is that person? I need that person.
August 24th, 2005 at 12:38 pm
Yes I regret not having chased some relationships. But then who would I be now? I do not regret my choices in my life. they made me who I am. The past is just that. Its the now that I an concered with. My body has its problems but why should that change what I do or think? My inner fire? Do not understand that. Equate to drive? I guess for me everyday drives me to make something better for another. Its why I blog.
August 24th, 2005 at 2:02 pm
Hi Victoria… very interesting post and very timely I might add. I’m struggling with the same thoughts right now. How far to take it so that it causes the least amount of pain for all involved. I’m having a hard time with this one. Thank you for adding more thoughts in there for me. I appreciate you.
August 24th, 2005 at 2:22 pm
I tend to take the leap, following my instincts. I consider pain just part of the risk. I get hurt, sure, but that pain is made bearable by the wonderful people I experience by reaching out. Sometimes you just know. I don’t know you yet but have not doubt one about your sincerity and that you could be trusted completely. Like the one above me here. If I lost her today I’m a much better man for having experienced her. She rubs off on those she touches. Excellent, thought provoking post Victoria.
August 24th, 2005 at 2:23 pm
Those who allow themselves to be a knowing torch to your spirit, those who take that risk to conenct and support, are few and far between. Whether that person is online or not, in family or no, a click of connection is valuable.
Online one can’t read a person as well. Body language is gone so gut instincts have less to go on. Still, relationships of support can flourish here as well as anywhere between two willing people who put in the hours to meet each other.
August 24th, 2005 at 4:18 pm
You are such a flame for me Vicki.
Love to you with lots of hugs.
August 25th, 2005 at 2:29 am
I don’t have any regrets because I always like making friends, even with people who like to hit me with eggs like this mean kid. I don’t really look for help, just like to help people, but not when they give me Beaver face, because they might bite! If I can be the flame that helps other people, I would. I have alot of great friends, and most of them are bloggers, and I’m happy to have them as friends, like you Vickie. I would have spoke up loud for real to tell you all this, but I don’t think you would have heard me, you live to far!
August 25th, 2005 at 3:57 pm
I used to lean more toward being shy of new people when I was younger Vickie, but in my golden middle years my spirit has helped me to open up more to trusting. Not to say that I don’t get hurt, or at the very least very disappointed…..but I can’t imagine not giving someone new the benefit of the doubt first, unless I have solid knowledge beforehand that tells me to stay away. Like you, I often get a feel right at the start, a connection that I feel. I know that is my spirit recognizing someone else’s spirit…..and I never ignore that. I had that with you, Soul Lady!