Soulmates continued | Filed under General
As I promised I have returned to talk more about soulmates here at Always Victoria. This is not something I have just started to think about but is something I have pondered over many times. I am very much a Romantic and very much influenced by romanticism so keep this in mind as you read what I say.
I am actually going to talk about it in a different from the “usual” perspective so instead of looking long term I’m looking at it for a different perspective. The reason for this is that the concept of Universal Good permeates the whole situation and all people involved. That goes along with the fact there is Good in all People and All People are made of Good.
If there is a problem with finding one’s soulmate, it’s not the soulmate’s problem, it’s one’s own. It is our own attitudes, beliefs and opinions which form our experience of life. In a relationship, it is our perception of the other, not the other themselves which determines our fate.
For example:I have perceived my desired partner as being incapable or unwilling to accept our connection. If I change my mind about this, decide that my soulmate and I are both ready, willing and able to connect, what will happen? There are a variety of possibilities and here are two of the most probable.
Something may change for the person I’m interested in.
Nothing will change for that person, but another, “righter” individual will show up in my life.
This technique is ruined if we assume that the person we’re interested in, must be the one or that they must respond in a specific fashion. There’s a very simple reason for this, and the term for it is “outlining”. Outlining demands that the solution to our issue be found within certain predefined parameters. It’s a big universe and the right thing for you probably isn’t within those parameters or you’d already have what you wanted. When the treatment is done “open-ended”, there is no downside. If you’re going to get what you want anyway, is it so important that it happen exactly the way you think it should? Remember, interaction with a soulmate requires a loosening of ego issues, and our pre-conceived ideas are part of our ego structure.
What if we’re wrong? It can be frightening to contemplate how much good can actually be available. For many of us, just the fact of meeting someone we can connect with on a soul level is an amazing experience. There is often a deep sense of familiarity, and a feeling of being better understood than ever before. But what if there were many soul connections available to us? In my opinion, a soulmate is a one-shot deal, but soul connections are many and these people can be in our lives to teach us a number of different things.
I’ve seen a pattern in the events which lead up to a soulmate connection for several different couples. Prior to the connection, one person may get very enamored of someone with whom they have a strong soul connection. This is unrequited love. The person who is the object of this attention is frequently unaware of their impact, and thus gives unexpected responses. This can be very painful. However, when the attachment to this unresponsive individual is released, the real soulmate is found, usually very quickly.
In my opinion this is a learning experience for the soul to be able to find a long term partner. The soul is always answerable to a Higher Authority, and until that is given seniority over the preferences of the conscious mind, forward movement is halted. If we assume that this Higher Authority has our highest good in mind, it only makes sense to “turn over the wheel” to That Which Has All The Answers.
So what’s my long term relationship advice when trying to find your soulmate? Be flexible and open to possibility while letting attachments go. Be prepared to understand pain along the way. There will be more here tomorrow on this same topic for I have just touched the surface.
Now you might be able to tell I developed a love for psychology and sociology while I was in collage and Psychiatry was my favorite and by far best part of Nursing School and the area I scored the highest on my boards. Talk to me, please don’t leave me here in the darkness for no one likes to be alone or without sunshine. Until tomorrow Life Is Simply Good.
July 28th, 2005 at 5:21 pm
I have always grappled with the concept of a soulmate. While it sounds wonderful, how do you find such a person in the world? Is there only “one” soulmate for each person, that romantically perfect person to link with forever, or are there a number of partners that could be your soulmate? If it is the former, how do you find this person? They could be in another country, maybe different ethnicity. How do they find you? If the latter is true, then how many are there to pick from? Are they all interchangeable in terms of meeting your needs? Because of this ambiguity, I consider a soulmate to be more of a romantic notion than a practical reality. I married a gal who I don’t really consider my soul mate, but we are compatible, and the college gal that I thought had the best chance to be my soulmate, had no interest in marrying me. Life is so complicated.
July 28th, 2005 at 5:33 pm
I’m admittedly an incurable romantic, therefore I’d like to believe a soulmate exists for each of us. So many people marry because there’s no one else better out there. I think what they mean is there’s no one better AT THAT MOMENT.
I’ve been divorced for 16 years, and while I never dreamed I’d be alone this long, I alos know I’ve done the right thing remaining single to this point. There were a couple of times marriage was discussed, but after two divorces I didn’t want to wander into something where I settled.
In retrospect, I can see we wouldn’t have made it — or if we had of, we probably would be less than happy. It’s better (for me) to wait on that one person who is what I believe to be that soulmate.
That may mean I spend the rest of my life alone, but I find that preferable to the pain of yet another divorce.
July 28th, 2005 at 7:32 pm
Everyone has more than one soulmate too, right? I enjoyed reading these posts…
*HUGS & LOVE*
July 28th, 2005 at 11:44 pm
Here’s something to think about……I believe that soulmates can come in the form of best friends too!
July 29th, 2005 at 7:23 am
Very interesting blog you’ve got here! It really makes a person think about what a soulmate means to them. I’ll be back for more good reading!
July 29th, 2005 at 7:45 am
I am still not sure if I buy the whole soul mate thing.
Hmm, I have a lot of thoughts on this. I feel a post brewing.
July 29th, 2005 at 7:49 am
In response to Jude’s comment~ I personally believe that soulmates can be good friends as well. I have one friend I met at the tender age of six and she and I are still as close as sisters nearly 30 years later! She is the true sister of my heart.
As much as I love the thought of soulmates, I think people sometimes put too much emphasis on the “ideal”. I mean, too many people expect this gift to just drop into their lap and be absolutely perfect. Forgetting that there is no such thing as perfection in a human being and that true relationships require time, thought, and effort.
There is going to be pain, frustration, fear, longing and all those other so called “negative” things as no two people are identical and no two people are always working in the exact same direction with the exact same perceptions, thoughts, ideas and ideals.
So when difficulties arise people are too often ready to just drop the possibilities in the trash and walk away because if it’s hard work then it’s not that special gift they expected in the beginning.
Does that make any sense at all? I’m only working on my first cup of coffee this morning so my brain isn’t 100% yet! LOLOL
July 29th, 2005 at 8:23 am
Your love of those subjects comes through very clearly. And well stated might I add.
July 29th, 2005 at 8:24 am
Lookie who is back!
What a wonderful though provoking post! OMG it was truly amazing. Of course I always thought you were an incredibly insightful writer. Love you girl! Miss you so much.
July 29th, 2005 at 9:07 am
Many good points to consider here, friend. It’s painful to be honest with myself about the fact that I wasn’t in love with my husband the way he was with me. I thought I was but it was the courtship that he overwhelmed me with that did it. I’m careful not to let a similar behavior going on in my life lead me astray, no matter how many bags of rice show up on my doorstep! I’d like to think there’s a soulmate out there. Maybe soulmate is the wrong word. I do know I won’t settle. No matter how enamored I am of someone, I won’t settle. A friend told me that women our age say there’s no one out there, but I see that there is. There are too many out there for anyone to settle, male or female.
July 29th, 2005 at 12:06 pm
Another well-written and thought-provoking post Victoria.
I believe firmly that there are many people in the world with whom a particuar person can connect and form a lasting bond, it’s not a one-shot deal.
A longtime marriage or a longtime relationship needs to be based on some deep connection, but in the long run, making the relationship work breaks down not to romance, but to really liking that person and having compatible habits in a living arrangement.
I also believe strongly that you are right about the cause of not meeting the right person has more to do with you than anything else.
I am so happy for you that you have found the one.