Making Choices | Filed under General
Thanks for being here today! The world is a richer place for your presence, and I
appreciate all that you contribute in your own unique ways especially here at Always Victoria. I recently read that leaving comments on blogs is like tipping your waitress…you don’t have to, but they sure love it when you do! Yes I do love when you share your thoughts with me just as Shirazi did yesterday when he said
Let me speak my heart out on this. I have been making choices under societal and many other compulsions like keeping others happy. Of course I have been regretting. Similarly I have seen many make bad (uncalculated) choices. They would not listen when suggested the alternative. Result: remorse and regret in life. You say don’t let it hurt. How? How?
Thanks for bringing this up. Keep on, on this subject.
I think you can never do away completely with the hurt from your choices for it is a true emotion. You need to be able to learn to overcome the pain and decrease the frequency you make the choices which bring on the pain…in essence you learn from your mistakes and you don’t repeat them which leads me to the post today on choices.
Each person possesses the power to choose the path of their thoughts and actions. The ability to make wise and fulfilling decisions, however, is a skill that is learned over time. One way to hone your decision-making skills is through the use of an honest pro and con list. It may at first seem like a flippant way to address major life-altering decisions, but the creation of a list weighing the advantages and disadvantages of a choice can help you avoid focusing on the potential benefits or drawbacks of an option without addressing all the variables. A pro and con (or ‘for and against’) list represents a concrete way of looking at a problem. It can help you view a set of choices more clearly, giving you a chance to analyze each variable in an objective and detached way, while providing a sense of the most attractive outcome.
Creating a pro and con list is simple. Put the choice you must make into words and be sure you have examined as many of the ramifications of that choice as possible. Write the choice at the top of a sheet of paper, then write two headers, pro and con, beneath it, drawing a line down the middle between them. Some decisions have many aspects and may require you to make multiple choices and thus multiple pro and con lists. Others will simply involve moving forward or not, or changing or not, and will require only one list. Examine each potential outcome relating to the choice at hand. When you have reviewed each outcome, tally up the two columns and compare the pros and the cons. If you were objective, the results may surprise you.
By looking at a decision in terms of the positive and negative results that will or may occur, you can distance yourself from it. That distance creates a perspective in which the problem at hand is an issue that needs to be resolved, rather than a decision that will have an impact on the person you are. But the list is a tool and needn’t have the final say in a decision. Rather, it can be a helpful and beneficial stepping stone in the decision-making process.
Bernie Siegel once said ” You may find merry-go-rounds tame. Perhaps your life is more like a roller coaster ride. That’s okay, as long as it is the ride you want to be on.
Maybe you enjoy the highs and lows of the roller coaster. I have fun on the merry-go-round, where I can meet people of all ages and we can talk while we ride. The kind of conversations and interactions I like are impossible when we are alternately shrieking or tense with anticipation. But if that kind of life is truly your choice and makes you happy, then go ahead and ride the roller coaster. Whatever ride you choose in the carnival of life, just remember to stop, now and then, for a rest and refreshments. And those of us who are carousel riders should definitely take a break whenever the merry drops out of the merry-go-round.”
Just remember as you think about choices Theodore Roosevelt once said, ” In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.’ so always make a choice and let it be your choice but first weigh your options and think about the outcomes.
I have made my choice and I plan to post my answer to an Interview from The Queen herself so stay tuned for you will not want to miss this right here here at Always Victoria. In the meantime may your choices lead you to a path where you will be saying Life Is Simply Good.
July 21st, 2005 at 4:46 pm
This post is like a
to me. Sometimes I think I should read your blog before I even get out of bed. So many times I make no choice at all and that is always the wrong choice.Pretty funny how doing nothing can be a choice isn’t it. Someone once said to me, there is no such thing as the wrong choice because no matter what you are going to learn something. I have always loved that. And it has proven true. So far I have learned from every choice I ever made. Good or bad, pretty or ugly. Its all on me.I can’t wait to read the answers to the interview questions!!!:)
July 21st, 2005 at 5:37 pm
Thanks for these posts. How to make better decisions is something that already keeps me busy for quite a while.
I recently came across an interesting quote from a book called “Night flight to Brussels” by a Christian author named Roger De Wiest. His autobiography reads: “Perhaps too long I had been with Vigny, proud and stoic. “Prier est également lâche.” To pray is also cowardly. I did not pray to beg, I prayed to thank.”
The point for me here is not whether one believes or not, because I’m quoting this as an answer to the same difficulties we all face in life. When we make decisions, we are ourselves responsible for them. Also for those who believe God is not taking away their responsibility to try to make the right choices. But humanists and Christians alike cannot look into the future and don’t know all the elements at play. Hence they can never be sure and begging doesn’t help. This is where all of us have to give things out of hand and remain humble when things do work out.
July 21st, 2005 at 7:14 pm
I think I need to have you call me each morning to start my day off right. You’re so full of wisdom, and you’re all heart. Shirazi had some good points, and I can only try to understand what he goes through in his country.
*HUGS & LOVE*
July 21st, 2005 at 8:17 pm
That sound advice and a Great post.
As you said though there will always be a negative side to every choice,just minimize the headache.
I’ve always believed life is an adventure. I go out there to enjoy it, and to take what risks I am willing to live with.
Have a nice day.
July 22nd, 2005 at 5:43 am
No doubt about this one. True, so true.
July 22nd, 2005 at 8:59 am
So true!! I’ve used the Pros/Cons list many times and it’s very helpful when I just cannot make a decision. Looking forward to your next post Vickie!
July 22nd, 2005 at 9:04 am
So true! I’ve used the Pros/Cons list many times when I just cannot make a decision, and it’s very helpful! Looking forward to your next post, Soul Lady!
July 22nd, 2005 at 9:48 am
Very good post, Victoria. Sometimes I think you speak right to me, like a preacher on Sundays. I made a pro/con list about a choice just yesterday…imagine that.
Take care, Friend.
July 22nd, 2005 at 10:11 am
You are one deep lady but your writing is very inspiring to me.
July 22nd, 2005 at 1:21 pm
Wonderful post as always…thanks for your words of wisdom! Much love….Happy weekend!
July 22nd, 2005 at 11:14 pm
Your thoughts on the subject (and my mention here) inspire me. I will be back to you n this. Thanks.
July 23rd, 2005 at 1:53 am
You and I are often on the same wavelength. Another great post Vickie.
Have a wonderful weekend. ((( hugs )))
July 23rd, 2005 at 8:07 am
Or as my Dad used to say:”Think twice, act once!”
July 23rd, 2005 at 10:33 am
Very good advice on making a list of pro’s and con’s - I’ve done that for most of my life. (Not that it always works, but, at least I’ve given it a shot!)
Have a beautiful weekend you beautiful lady!
July 23rd, 2005 at 4:09 pm
Vickie just wanted to let you know I HAVE finally posted that questionaire on my blog ~ in your honour! Have a great weekend!
July 23rd, 2005 at 4:29 pm
this is great advice, however, the only question i ask is how practical is it ? few can do this when they are in the situation.. it is difficult to be objective when one is experiencing so much.
July 24th, 2005 at 7:55 am
Great post.
I’ve always believed everything in life is a choice, and taking responsibility for one’s own actions goes hand-in-hand with that. If we make a choice and, as a result, have to deal with consequences, then we should own up to our mistakes and move on.