Today is Saturday, a day to enjoy a little relaxation and have some fun. To help with this I am going to provide you with a few little smiles here and just a few things to ponder….

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students, one by one -
“Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?” she asked.
“Just a minute, I have to go piss.”
The teacher replied “That would be rude and impolite!”
“What about you Bill, how would you say it?”
“I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”
The teacher responded, “That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the table.”
“And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?”
“I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get to meet after supper.”
The teacher fainted..

Yes Little Johnny does it again…..

Now this is for the educators who stop by here…..

Children’s Science Exam Answers

These are real answers given by children:

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts—the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?’
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Just a few things to ponder….

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark
to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many
people a company can operate without.

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else
looks?

Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.

No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car
There are no new sins….the old ones just get more publicity.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM.
It could be a right number.

Think about this…, No one ever says “It’s only a game” when his team
is winning.

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his
tail.

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense
at all.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like
it.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size
bucket.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old
ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry
in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you
are probably dead.

Do you have some smiles to share or things you are pondering that you would like to share? Please do so and never be shy here for I welcome your comments .