Did you realize there is an art to complaining? Well there is, imagine that, stick around and I will share more about this fine art with you.

I recently saw a small sign that went something like this…… “If you have any complaints, please let us know. We can’t improve our service unless we know what’s going wrong.” I loved the sign. It is an admission, that someone is not perfect, , and that they may make mistakes from time to time. They aren’t perfect, and they know it, and it’s hard to improve service if nobody lets them know what needs to be improved!

When I thought about this attitude in relation to my experiences in life, I thought of just how quickly people in our culture attach labels to people who make complaints. They’re “whiners” or “crybabies,” or they’re just never satisfied with anything. But that’s usually not the case–most people complain when they feel that an injustice has been committed, or when something unfair has happened. And attaching labels to people who are complaining about something is just a weak person’s way of trying to shut that person up through peer pressure.

Companies try to do it when people complain–the film Erin Brokovich is a good example of a very common problem that people face when they try to complain about something that’s happening on the corporate level. But that film has a fairly positive ending (though the people’s health isn’t restored). How many other stories have endings in which the first person or two who dares to complain is shut up through pressure, either emotional, psychological, or physical?

People attach labels to other people usually because they take the complaining personally, as if the complaint were a personal attack on them rather than an observation about something that just isn’t right. If I attach a label to someone else, it’s much easier for me not to take the person seriously–he’s just a whiner.

Of course, there are people who take things too far and who complain about virtually everything. They could win a million dollars and complain that if they had just won $1.3 million, things would have been perfect. Their speech is full of sentences such as “That’s nice, but. . .” Being around them can lead a person to feel negative about many different things in life, and usually it’s nice to avoid these people.

If you’re going to complain, then, how do you go about doing so in a positive, constructive way?

First off, remember that stating an opinion is not complaining, no matter what anyone may tell you. “I don’t like that” is not a complaint. On the other hand, putting the “I don’t think” tag before a statement doesn’t automatically turn it into a statement of opinion. “I don’t think that this product does what you promised it would do” is a complaint, not an opinion.

Second, make sure that your complaint can have a constructive outcome. Complaining constantly about the price of gas will accomplish nothing, whereas complaining about a pothole on your road can accomplish something. On the other hand, if you complain about the pothole to your neighbor, you’re probably not going to get much done; if you complain about it to your town’s street maintenance people, there’s a good chance the pothole will get filled.

Third, be aware of venting. Venting can be good–it can release negative energy and help one to gain a sense of perspective, but it’s important that you vent to the right person. Venting to a stranger is usually pretty inappropriate, whereas venting to a friend who understands you can be very helpful. But be aware that if you vent too much, you’re using that other person, and your friendship probably isn’t going to last too long.

A complaint can be a very positive thing, especially if the person(s) to whom we’re complaining isn’t aware of the problem, and if they truly want to do something about the problem. Don’t let other people’s labels stop you from expressing yourself–if there’s something that you feel deserves a complaint such as poor service, an unfair or irresponsible action, or a new law that makes no sense, then make a complaint. Just make sure, though, that you’re doing so in a constructive manner–everyone will appreciate it a great deal if you do so.

So now if you have a complaint with me here is your chance to let me hear it actually I would welcome it but now don’t go over to any of my cyberfriend’s and let me find out about it our we might have a major WAR on our hands. Hope you are having a Great day and Life Is Simply Good.