Possessions | Filed under General
There’s nothing inherently wrong with possessions. There are many things that we can own that can improve our quality of life, that can add new dimensions to our experiences. Possessions can’t be bad on their own, for they are, for the most part, just things. The things themselves can’t do anything to us, and they can’t make us do anything that we don’t want to do or become anything we don’t want to become. Whether we’re talking about cars or stereos or cd’s or books or clothes or anything else, things we own do not determine who we are as human beings.
Unless we choose to let them do so, that is, and many people do so. Possessions seem to be seductive by their very nature–having something empowers us, and power is one of the most seductive forces known to humankind. We often feel that owning a certain item can make us more desirable to others as a person, as a friend, as a significant other. Having a certain things can show others that we have good taste, that we have a lot of money, that we’re a certain type of person (practical, rebellious, strong , cultured, intelligent, broad-minded, appreciative of good humor or, whatever).
Almost all of us get satisfaction from our possessions, and we use our possessions to establish common points of interest. If we see someone who has the same type of anything that we have an immediate point in common, a place where we can start a conversation about the object. “Oh, you have that, too? I love mine–what do you think about yours?” They’re very convenient that way, and they serve a vital social role for many people who haven’t yet learned to start such interactions on a different level.
Possessions should reflect who we are. We usually choose our possessions carefully based on the image we wish to project. This shows up most obviously in our clothing, but it certainly extends past our clothes. Problems arise when we allow our possessions to do our talking for us, and they no longer reflect who we are–we become the kind of person who we think owns that type of possession.
Another way that possessions can hurt us is when they start piling up, never being used any more. When we constantly need new things, we’re looking for something outside of ourselves to provide us with satisfaction. There are many people who live to buy–they always want to find the newest gadgets, games, or fashions, and the older ones pile up in the house. This is most disastrous when you need to move, but even if a move isn’t in your future, keeping all of the things around can be a very unpleasant reminder of the failed attempts to find gratification through an object, through a possession.
It’s time to beware of possessions when they start to control you–either when they make you act as you normally wouldn’t act, or when they make you keep them around long after their usefulness has worn out. Our lives are our lives, and it’s important that we develop who we are, not what we have. Possessions are a very positive part of life–there are many things that I have that I love to have–but if we ever let them control us, then they’ve become an obstacle to our happiness.
I have been living at my mother’s house in the home I grew up in and surrounded by her possessions for almost eight months now and she refuses to depart with things because we might need them or she might one day wear them again but yet I have with me only my clothes and one personal gift I refused to leave behind and my husband has his computer and his clothes. The remainder of what we own is in storage. Last week we went by the storage units and I said to my husband we are going to start going through each box and giving away these possessions for few of these will we really want to keep or need to keep as we have in the past. Things no longer control my life, I am happier if I could just get a few others to understand some of these possessions are no longer needed and they could be on their way to understanding Life Is Simply Good.
Anything that is given can be at once taken away.
We have to learn never to expect anything, and when it comes
it’s no more than a gift on loan.
John McGahern
Remember, what you possess in the world will be found
at the day of your death to belong to someone else,
but what you are will be yours forever.
Henry van Dyke
April 24th, 2005 at 8:44 pm
This very topic was something I was thinking about last night as I watched a show on TV about a pioneer family back in the 1800’s, moving themselves and all their possessions in a covered wagon.
It struck me that my couch wouldn’t fit in that wagon, never all the other things we deem as necessities. From there I started thinking about what are needs and what are wants. The needs are in constant use; the wants fade in and out of obscurity.
Similar to your situation, we moved a few years ago from our condo (about 1100 sq ft) to a 700 sq ft apartment while our house was being built. 90% of our worldly possessions went into storage and we missed nothing.
Ever notice how good it feels inside to de-clutter? Of course you have — who am I kidding
I believe that clutter and things block the flow of what’s SUPPOSED to come to us. There’s no room when we’re surrounded by ’stuff’.
Excellent post and, as usual, right on target.
April 24th, 2005 at 8:45 pm
Good post. I almost lost my life trying to build my worldly posessesions up. Between stress, and everything else that happened, it finally did end up costing me my marriage and the fact that I will now only see my children part time. So, be very careful of what and how you accumulate things. hugs to ya, darlin’
keep smilin’ life is good
April 25th, 2005 at 12:54 am
I definitely agree, possessions can be a very healthy thing IMHO if not taken to extremes.
April 25th, 2005 at 3:56 am
brilliantly put.
i think it is the same with the choices we make.. right ?
April 25th, 2005 at 6:09 am
Possessions really don’t mean anything when it comes to the end of our lives, because we can’t take them with us. The intangible possessions, like love and memories do go with us and are the most precious! I know I would have a hard time parting with my earthly possessions (they’re part of my surroundings and are comfortable), but wouldn’t trade the love and memories for the world!
Have a great day, and thanks for such a beautiful post! *HUGS*
April 25th, 2005 at 6:51 am
When we have people who love us, clothes on our back, a roof over our head, and food on our table, do we really need more? I have found out just how little I can actually survive without.
-G
April 25th, 2005 at 8:28 am
Is this your subtle way of nudging me to clean out closets, garage, etc? I really do need to do that. I know that there are many things going unused that somebody without would be happy to own.
The only thing I truly possess is my heart & mind — and even those are on a short term lease. God owns my soul.
April 25th, 2005 at 10:28 am
That is one of your most excellent posts, Ms. Vickie - every single word, true to the nnnth degree! Thank you for reminding us of the truly important “things” about life.
April 25th, 2005 at 1:26 pm
Hi Vicky,
1st of all, i want to say thanks for popping by to visit my site. Joe Passed on your remarks.
Couldnt agree more about the stuff that clutters our lives and rack up our credit cards! Theres a new George Straight song…. has this line in it.
“I aint never seen a hearse with a luggage rack”
April 25th, 2005 at 2:07 pm
Wow, this is one for the packrats among us. I tend to hold onto things too. Mostly old papers, bills and such. I have this fear that the moment I throw something away I’ll need it. Yes I know that’s irrational but it’s something I just can’t seem to help. Maybe I’ll work harder on it.
April 25th, 2005 at 2:43 pm
Brilliant post Vickie. I am not materialistic but I do have a few choice possessions which make my life a wee bit comfortable.
That book I mentioned was “Mind Power into the 21st Century” by John Kehoe. An amazing book on how to focus the mind on the postive through visualisation, seeding and affirmations. I read it at least twice a year and inbetween when I start losing focus on things around me. I have marked paragraphs which are relevant to me, so going back to those important issues is easy.
April 25th, 2005 at 8:02 pm
I use to hold onto things when I was younger. I find that once a month I have to deliberately declutter anything stored up. Now I am training my children to do the same.
Awesome post
April 25th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
When I moved back to Oklahoma I left most of my possessions behind. I am truly “starting over” when it comes to material things. Its not so bad really. After you’ve gone without them, you find that those things don’t mean nearly as much to you as you thought they did.
April 25th, 2005 at 9:15 pm
When I moved with my kids to the East Coast I had to leave many of my possessions behind and start over. I agree with Brian, it’s really not that bad.
It really was a great way to get those closets cleaned out! lol