So many people have told me this is their favorite skin and I must confess it is mine as well, it also has a very special meaning to me. One of my best friends, who is actually responsible for the the domain name Always Victoria said I reminded him of a Steel Magnolia and went on to say many complimentary things . I tucked that away knowing I would pull it out an use it at a later time and for some reason it just seems now might be a good time to do so. So Sweet William, as I call you thanks for the many things you have given me during our friendship. Your love and friendship will always remain the most treasured.

So here we go with What is a Steel Magnolia…..

The dictionary defines the word steel as “strong, durable, unflinching in character” and the word magnolia as “any of the various evergreen or deciduous trees of the genus magnolia, cultivated for their showy flowers in colors of white, pink, purple or yellow.”

Where I come from, a Steel Magnolia is the combination of the two definitions above…and so much more.

You are the very essence of strength combined with femininity. You are a woman who enjoys being a woman, and is well aware of the power that comes with it. You are the backbone of her family, in good times and bad; and “family” means so much more than just blood kin to you…it encompasses anyone to whom she is tied by heartstrings. You take great pleasure in being there for those you loves, and in filling their needs.You will even put your own needs on the back burner to do this, and never give it a second thought. And it doesn’t matter to you if your filling a need that will earn you recognition and praise or if it’s so “behind the scenes” that no one ever even knows who filled it.
The only reward you needs is the knowledge that the need was filled.

It is you who holds the family together when everyone else is ready to quit; you are the very foundation of the South, and the rock on which it was built. It is you who cares for the sick, both in your family and anyone else’s who may need an extra hand when they are unable to carry their load alone. It is you who manages to scrimp, save and pinch pennies till they holler when times are tight…and does without, herself…so that your family doesn’t go without what they need. It is you who keeps the churches alive by seeing that your family is there for all activities, by taking part in them yourself and just generally filling any position that might need filled from Sunday School teacher to singing in the choir to getting the communion ready to arranging flowers for the sanctuary. It is you who gives even more hours of your already full day to organizations that do good for your community and around the world…groups like Red Cross, Junior Leagues, homeless shelters, shelters for abused women and hospitals, just to name a very few.

It is also you who teaches your children the values of love, compassion, courage, strength, spirituality, joy, and even sorrow. You teaches them that it is not a sin to make a mistake; but it is one not to try. You teaches them that it’s perfectly normal to have weak moments when you want to quit; but it’s not good to give in to the urge to do so. It is you who teaches them that they can be anything they want to be, and have anything they want out of life; the sky’s the limit…if they want it badly enough to work really hard for it.

You also teach them about the “graces” of life, the beauty of sparkling, beautifully cut crystal, the patina of well polished silver that’s been passed down from one generation to the next, the sentimental value of having your table set for special occasions with Great-grandmother’s china (even though the pattern has long since been discontinued) and Grandmother’s Battenburg table linens that her son brought to her from a cruise when he was in the Navy. You shows them the beauty and elegance of a table set with your finest appointments and graced with beautiful fresh-cut flowers, usually from her own garden. It is you who teaches them about family traditions…and those who made them.

You are also an excellent cook. Among the most-treasured possessions passed down through the generations of Steel Magnolias are family recipes. These recipes may have begun as bare-bones recipes made out of whatever staples happened to be on hand in the family pantry during lean times. But, generations later, they have been embellished by each one who used them until they have reached near-gourmet standards. And, in this day and time, they have also been made low-fat without sacrificing taste; because Steel Magnolias have their family’s well-being in mind at all times.

Steel Magnolias care very much about their appearance, but it is very important that you realize that all of them are not beauty queens, although we certainly have more than our fair share of those who are. While all Steel Magnolias are taught very early on to “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative,” everyone knows their real beauty comes from within. While the phrase, “Pretty is as pretty does” is certainly one all Southern girls cut their teeth on, it comes closer to being true than they generally realize until they get a bit wiser.

The beauty of a Steel Magnolia is one that shines from within her; it’s a glow that all the best makeup in the world, most artfully applied, can never begin to duplicate,much less surpass. It’s a glow that comes from her genuine love of others, her deep interest in them and how their life is going, her concern for how she might make things better for her world. It comes from her not just looking at your eyes, but into your heart, when she is a part of your world. It comes from knowing that she will be there to laugh with you, as any loved one will; but she will also be there to hold you, cry with you, and roll up her sleeves and help you work your way out of rock bottom when life puts you there.

The real secret to a Steel Magnolia’s beauty is that it is purely and simply a reflection that comes from how you see her in your heart. Steel Magnolias love all the trappings of femininity; as the song says, they are strictly female females and enjoy being that way. They can flirt with the best of them, and generally do. In the South, no one takes offense at this, because they all have the gene! The only competition involved is seeing who can out flirt you…or,
if you’re a Southern Gentleman, seeing how many Magnolias you can have flirting with you at one time!

Steel Magnolias have a unique way of speaking, a combination of that famous accent which they can thicken at will and phrases like none you’ve ever heard anywhere else; this dialect is known around the world, and loved by virtually everyone who hears it. Especially men. And, when the situation warrants it, they are also quite capable of cutting a deserving person into ribbons with their words in such a way that that person will not only thank them for it at the time, but not even realize that they’ve been shredded until much later down the road. It’s an ability with which they are all quite fluent, and a power that is used very judiciously; but, believe me, you do not want to be a recipient of this particular talent of a Steel Magnolia!

All Steel Magnolias are a combination of every stereotypical Southern woman TV and the movies have made famous, from Scarlett and Melanie in Gone with the Wind, to Julia, Charlene, Mary Jo and Suzanne on Designing Women, to M’Lynn, Shelby, Claire, Annelle, Truvy and - yes - even Ouiser in Steel Magnolias; we may each have more of one of the stereotypes in our makeup than the rest, but they all reside inside us believe me! And, in case you don’t know this already, Yes I, am very proud to consider myself a member of this elite group . I also have many friends who are not southern but are Steel Magnolias. However this post is also for me to say thank you to Billy, my friend who I call Sweet William that has been by my side and a rock for me during some difficult times. So again thank you.