Agree To Disagree | Filed under General
We all have disagreements. To clash at times with family and friends is a part of life. Whether we simply have a difference of opinion with someone or engage in an argument, disagreements offer an opportunity for us to learn and grow.
One of the most important things we can do when we find ourselves in disagreement with anyone, whether they are close to us or not, is to try to remain calm and to be respectful. When we disagree over something minor, we usually just engage in some playful squabbling. However, when we are discussing something of importance to us, or if we disagree with someone we don’t particularly like, it may be difficult to keep from becoming angry and exchanging harsh words. From there, it’s all too easy for a disagreement to escalate and become a full blown shouting match.
During any disagreement, it’s important to be respectful and let the other person state their opinion. Then listen and really try to hear what the other person is saying. Try to understand not just their words, but their feelings as well. Understanding is more important than agreeing. You may not come to an agreement, but you can agree to disagree and still keep peace.
If a disagreement starts to get heated, take a deep breath and stop talking. Make eye contact and as difficult as it may be, send the other person love. Try to find compassion. Chances are, there will be an energy shift and both of you will become calmer and better able to discuss your differences.
We shouldn’t however, withdraw from those close to us when they want to discuss issues. As uncomfortable as conflict may be, when we are able to work through disagreements the relationship is strengthened. Disagreements offer us a chance to become more accepting, loving, people and give others the chance to do the same.
What do you think? Now I would like to hear your thoughts, you are important to me and I value you so please feel comfortable and share with me either here or in an e-mail. I would like to know just who really reads what I have to say so how about if nothing more just give me a hello I would love to know you are peeking in on me, so don’t be a shy one. Step up who is going to me number one and make my day. Yes Life Is Simply Good and you heard here at Always Victoria. Smile and have a great day!
March 11th, 2005 at 11:12 am
How a couple ends an argument, it is said, is one of the best barometers of how likely their marriage/union is to last.
I find it so frustrating though to deal with someone who will NOT talk. It’s an attention-getting ploy and a way for them to ’steal’ energy.
Stopping in mid-thought when things are getting heated is such sound advice and it really does work. It’s so easy to go off on a tangent and say things that will be regretted later which just does more damage.
Arguments really tend to bring out the fight or flight instinct in a lot of us, me included. People who are comfortable in their own skin, and confident in themselves seem to easily be able to give love to those who need it most when they are at their most ‘unlovable’. It’s really something to see that kind of exchange.
Great post!
March 11th, 2005 at 11:13 am
It is good to agree to disagree. We all have opinions and have rights to them. We need to compromise and try to see the other person’s views and try to understand them. We might even find we’re wrong
or vice versa. There isn’t always a right and wrong too, and we need to remember that.
Have a wonderful day!! *HUGS*
March 11th, 2005 at 11:43 am
Sometimes during an argument I stop speaking completely. It is not done for the purpose of control, other than gathering my own.
There are times in which I may be debating a topic with someone when I realize that I need to spend some time considering my position.
It is not always appropriate to engage in this type of thought out loud.
Thus I find myself getting quiet and looking for some privacy with the intent to resume the conversation later.
March 11th, 2005 at 12:33 pm
Believe it or not, I think I have forgotten how to argue. I have been married to a guy that just doesn’t participate in things of this nature. He will turn it around and make a joke of it. It used to be maddening. I would do my best to really get into a good one and he would just stand there and grin. Can’t win! But I sure have learned patience over the years.
March 11th, 2005 at 1:37 pm
Hubster tends to withdraw because he’s afraid he’ll say something he’ll regret. It annoys me but I know when he calms down we’ll be able to talk.
We RARELY have that situation anyway as we hardly disagree on big issues.
Other smaller issues we tend to tease each other.
March 11th, 2005 at 2:14 pm
Aahhh mi chica it is healthy to disagree, purging is essential to cleanse the soul.
In the end, love is the higher path. xxxxxx’s
March 11th, 2005 at 3:40 pm
I call that Freedom. When you can listen to someone who disagrees with you. In my marriage we have one rule and that is if you think it say it. Then nothing gets hidden. We are very different peopel , wife and I. She is a perfectionist. I am a communicator. She is the air I breathe.
March 11th, 2005 at 9:21 pm
I used to be a “flighter” because I just couldn’t stand for anyone to be angry with me, and I knew if I didn’t fly away, I’d say something I would regret.
Growing up, there were no arguments at all as we were taught not to “talk back” which we took literally to include siblings. My dad was so quiet, and I can only remember one time my entire life that he ever spoke harshly to me, and that was appropriate as I had it coming.
My mom was easy to aggravate so I avoided it as much as possible. With all that said, I do understand what you mean; it would have been a healthier lifestyle had we been able to disagree or agree to disagree. I carried my upbringing into my child rearing and two marriages. I refused to argue with anyone. Now, here I sit by myself - but, I can tell you this much, I argue with myself all the time, and I usually win!
March 11th, 2005 at 10:06 pm
Ok! I will go talk to my wife!
March 11th, 2005 at 11:25 pm
Disagreement is healthy in relationships where mutual communication is possible. What makes disagreement difficult is when there are barriers to communication that, even though you may be “talking” to one another, there is little or no comprehension of the problem.
-G
March 12th, 2005 at 9:18 am
Damn. Now I have something to think about, this saturday a.m.
Michele sent me, so…Hello!
March 12th, 2005 at 9:38 am
I took a class called verbal judo for work. I discovered it works for many other applications too.
http://www.verbaljudo.com
March 12th, 2005 at 12:08 pm
Great words of advice! Thanks for stopping by!
March 12th, 2005 at 3:41 pm
I’m actually in complete agreement with you! I used to just keep quiet, but now I calmly speak my mind. If things seem to just be bouncing off of walls and not heeded, I suggest a change of subject.
Unless of course it is with my mother! God love her, but we are exactly a like. So we like to debate and are as stubborn as hell. It usually ends with me hanging up the phone and her calling in a few days as if nothing has happened!