Experiences | Filed under General
Experience is not what happens to you; but it is what you do with what happens to you or how you handle those things that happen to you or that is one of the ways I look at it.
I am one who often stops and reviews things that goes on in my life and ponders things. Stepping back and reviewing things often offers me many insights. I don’t see things well until until I am slapped several times or as the old saying goes… normally we can’t see the forest for the trees. I have done this recently backed away that is and evaluated a few things in my life which is stressful to see is there any stress I can remove and found yes there is.
Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you encounter the same discussion or a very similiar one often when things get hectic ? It is always with the same person about the same thing? If so just how do you handle it?
I so want this to be my last time with this same experience. I wonder if I am not good at communicating with this person. Could this be unexpected expectations? Is it just time to move on? Give me some feedback here please.
“Ask the experienced rather than the learned.”
– Arabic proverb
“Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.”
– Franklin P. Jones
August 25th, 2004 at 1:31 am
I think of experience as already have made the mistake so the next time you do the right thing. I had a coach who always said the greatest lessons are learned in defeat. Sometimes you can win without really knowing how to win. Deep concept for this late at night. I gotta hit the sack. G’Night.
August 25th, 2004 at 7:52 am
Maybe you just aren’t viewing things from that person’s perspective. Put yourself in their shoes and think about the events that cause this experience to happen in the first place. Is there anything that you personally could have done to prevent this experience from happening over and over again? If you feel you must move on, then just do it. Maybe this person is tired of it too. It does take two to tango. One sided friendships don’t work.
August 25th, 2004 at 7:54 am
Very rarely will a person change, so yes, you’re right–it’s how the scenario is changed by the reaction rather than the action itself. If you learn to accept or overlook something, then it becomes the new scenario. If you cannot do so because it is just against your beliefs or bothers you to the point of intolerance or incomprehension, then it’s never going to stop being a problem. How’s that?
August 25th, 2004 at 8:34 am
Yes, very often either people - me or them aren’t seeing the whole picture and seeing that there are changes that need to be made to avoid situations from happening again… or we get lax and let things happen when we don’t mean them to.
I suggest looking to yourself first (which I need to do more!) and make sure it isn’t you that needs to change something - then if not, go to the other person and just talk about how it can be avoided in the future. Not attacking, but discussing. Some people are so touchy though, so it is hard to figure out how to do that.
*HUGS*
August 25th, 2004 at 10:14 am
Communication is a two way street. It takes both parties being able to state their beliefs, emotions and so forth and both parties also have to have the ability to listen to what is being told to them.
It is my opinion that if communication is faltering then that is the issue to be discussed and then use examples of where you believe it is failing.
Once the lines of communication are reopened you’ll be able to get your message across clearly.
August 25th, 2004 at 11:53 am
I’m constantly stepping back and trying to evaluate how I conduct myself and move through the world. Anytime something feels familiar (as the discussion you mentioned), I wonder if it’s a deja vu about something I keep screwing up.
Some people it only takes gentle pebble throws to catch their attention; others, like me, it’s generally a brick.
August 25th, 2004 at 12:02 pm
That is something I have considered in the past. It is impossible to change someone else. Thus, I have to look at the way they impact me and how I react to that impact.
If I can change my reaction, perhaps the pattern can be broken and we can move on from there. If that pattern cannot be broken…well, I have let go of people/situations in the past. It was just too harmful to us both to keep doing the same dance all the time.
It’s not easy. And I am prone to having knee-jerk reactions sometimes…making it all the harder.
August 25th, 2004 at 1:26 pm
I have found that there are just some people I encounter in my life that I just don’t jive with.Move on baby!
August 25th, 2004 at 5:03 pm
Yes, not so easy to change a person or their mind if it’s already made up about something.
The old Pick Your Battles comes to mind for me many a day.
With Hubster and co-workers there are things that annoy me, but I can live with. It’s the ones that you can’t live with that need your attention most.
I might just ask the person, you know we seem to keep stalling on this issue every time. Perhaps it would help to discuss why.
August 25th, 2004 at 5:27 pm
Sorry I haven’t been to your blog that often…been busy and tires and upset…:cry:
August 26th, 2004 at 7:16 am
I often do the same thing on both positive and negative fronts.
On the positive, I tread accordingly. Reciprocally, I retreat if possible; otherwise ignore.
August 26th, 2004 at 9:13 am
I’m the type that just always puts the blame on myself for another persons actions or reactions. Stupid but true.
August 26th, 2004 at 1:29 pm
Of course you could always drop kick her and tell her to straighten her ass up!
August 26th, 2004 at 3:07 pm
Great comments! I have learned to just say F-IT and walk on after I have tried a couple of times. If ya don’t walk away, it can eat you up. Sometimes if you leave something and want it. It will come back in time. Whether it is good or bad. I pass on what I learn to my boys and friends. Perhaps they will get it quicker than hardheaded “I”.
August 26th, 2004 at 3:52 pm
I’m just here to give hugs since you’ve already received excellent input.
August 26th, 2004 at 3:56 pm
I really can’t give you much input, and the Hunter and I seem to just cycle about four different arguments over and over. The incidents might change, but the essence stays the same.